"What in the Ella Fitzgerald does 'antidisestablishmentarianism' even mean?" Carl asked, staring at the dictionary, sitting at the kitchen island in his parents house, where he currently lived. His father, Harold, was standing across from him, eating a sandwich.
"I'm not sure that's a real word," Harold said, mouth full of lettuce and cheese. "It's in the dictionary," Carl said, "Books can't lie." "Uh, ever hear of fiction?" Harold asked, taking a swig of orange juice, "Books lie alllll the time." "You are the single most infuriating person on the planet," Carl said flatly, glaring at his father. "It's too bad they don't give awards for that," Harold said, looking off into space vacantly, "I would be so proud." *** Jason and Anna were sitting in the car in front of The Fullers house, not saying anything. Jason sighed and scratched the back of his head, unsure of what even could be said. Anna looked at her salmon colored nails and looked at her husband. "Do you not want this?" she finally asked, "Do you not want to have another child?" "I don't know what I want," Jason said, "I really...I don't know." "The whole idea is to grow up, get a job and raise your own kids," Anna said, "I mean, not for every woman, but that's what it was for me. It's what I wanted. You said you wanted it too. Or did you just lie about that to get into my pants? You can't be a total liar because we have Belle and you love her." "Of course I do," Jason said, "I wanted to have children with you. Just...in this financial climate, even with as good as our careers are, I just...I'm scared, alright, I'm honestly a little nervous about the whole thing. And to be frank-" Just then, there was a knock on his window. Jason rolled down the drivers side window to see his sister Ashley standing there, a scarf around her neck, her nose bright red. "It isn't THAT cold out here," Jason said, and she sneezed right onto his face. He wiped his face down with his hands, a look of abject horror swallowing his features as Ashley smiled and apologized. "I'm sick," she said, "I just wanted to give Anna something." "Fine, go ahead, I'm going to go inside now. I have to burn my face off," Jason said, getting out of the car and heading into the house as Ashley took his seat in the car. She reached into her coat pocket and pulled out a bracelet. "This is for you," she said, "It was given to me by someone I dated once, but I figured you should have it since you're pregnant and all. Like a sister thing, I guess. I don't know...having grown up with two brothers I guess I don't really know how to do the whole sisterly bonding thing." "It's fine," Anna said, smiling warmly and taking the bracelet, sliding it over her wrist, "Thank you Ashley. You're doing fine. Just don't sneeze on me." "I only did that to get him out of the car." "I'll have to remember that." *** "You shouldn't even need a dictionary, Carl. You did great at english when you were in school," Harold said, "I remember you always brought home your report cards and your english grade was always the A+ on the card. Everything else was questionable-" "Thank you." "-but that was always the one at the top. You don't need a dictionary. Besides, it's cheating." "Cheating? It's not like I can write down crib notes on my arms. I don't have that good a memory," Carl said, "You look in this dictionary and tell me that you can remember a single word or how it's spelt without it being a word you use on a day to day basis." "I don't need to, I'm in my 60s, I'm past learning," Harold said, "Once you hit a certain age, you're not required to update your views or beliefs on anything anymore, and whatever you say, no matter how inaccurate or insensitive it might be, is totally right. Them's the rules. I didn't make it this way, blame society." Just then, Jason stopped in the doorway of the kitchen, wiping his face down with a hand towel. Carl and Harold looked over at him, as he finished and tossed the hand towel into the laundry machine sitting in the middle room between the foyer and the kitchen. "Ashley sneezed on me," Jason said. "Didn't know you were into that sort of thing," Carl replied. "Ashley's here? Alright, let's get this game on then," Harold said, finishing his sandwich and wiping his hands on his pants, "Your mother's not able to be here tonight. She's visiting a friend at the hospital, so it'll just be me. Scrabble can only have 4 players, so Jason, you'll have to decide if you or Anna want to play. It'll be myself, Carl, Ashley and one of you." "I'll play," Jason said. "Play what?" Anna asked, entering with Ashley from behind them. "Scrabble," Jason said, "It's only 4 players, so I'm going to play for us, 'cause I'm the better...guy...with words." "Well said," Carl said. "You can't even speak correctly, what makes you think you could spell?" Ashley asked, wiping her nose on her sleeve. "You're sick, go home," Jason said, "Why did you even come tonight? Just to sneeze over everyone?" "I came because I'm part of the family," Ashley said, "At least that's what they always told me." Harold passed by everyone and headed into the living room to set up the game, Anna and Ashley following him to help. Jason looked at Carl, as he shut the dictionary and put it on the island top. Jason leaned against the island and crossed his arms, sighing. "If you had a wife, and a kid, and she got pregnant again, would you be excited or scared?" Jason asked. "Me, personally? I'd be thrilled," Carl said as he got off the stool at the island. "Really?" "You see anything else going on in my life?" Carl asked, as he headed past Jason into the living room. As they all took their seats on and around the couch, Jason couldn't believe what Carl had said. Was it a 'the grass is always greener' situation, where one wants what one does not have? Had to be. There's no way Carl could really want that...Jason found he himself barely wanted it anymore, and that scared him even more, but he couldn't tell that to anyone. Not in this family. Not where everything is used as ammunition against you at some point in the future... Harold gave everyone a letter bar, took 7 letters from the letter pouch and then passed it around. Jason took his, Ashley took hers and Carl took his. Anna sat down beside Carl and looked at his letters. Carl sipped his beer and glanced at her. "What?" he asked. "We're going to teach my husband a lesson," Anna said. "How do you propose we do that?" Carl asked. "You're talking to the spelling bee champion of her grade school," Anna said, "I have all the ribbons to prove it." "I'm learning so much about you lately," Carl said. Harold was always first to go, so he picked a few tiles off his bar and laid them bare on the board, spelling out, "Zone". Jason looked irritated. He'd already used the 'Z'? This was not going to be a good game for anyone. Ashley went next, taking her tiles and off the 'o' in zone spelled out 'Orange'. Jason sighed and looked back at his tile bar. "You know," Ashley said, "I'm not that great at spelling, so with my cold, I guess I could've just stayed home tonight." "Nah, I'm glad you came, pumpkin," Harold said, kissing the side of her head, "It's not family game night without you." Jason looked from them over at Carl and Anna, his brief smile turning into a grimace, as he noticed she was whispering in his ear. Jason went next, and he spelt 'Rage' off the 'r' in orange. After a moment of quiet deliberation, Carl took the 'g' in 'rage' and spelt 'regards'. Jason looked furious as they tallied up his points, and Anna patted him on the back, her eyes boring a hole into Jason's skull. Jason couldn't stand this. He cleared his throat and looked back at his tile bar, as everyone took more tiles from the pouch, passing it around to each player. "So Carl, I spoke to Lindsay the other day," Jason said, and Carl shot him a look as Jason continued, "Lindsay, if you don't know, Anna, is our cousin who lives in Alaska now. Carl had the biggest crush on her back when we were teenagers." "You crushed on our cousin?" Ashley asked. "Kids don't recognize the boundaries when they're that age," Carl said, "You find me one family where something semi incestuous didn't take place, and I'll give you 50 dollars, because everyone went through that sort of thing. At least I didn't have a thing for Miss Hinkley." "What?!" Ashley screeched, her voice rough and she started coughing, then exclaimed, "Seriously?! Our 80 year old homeroom teacher in middle school!?" "Jason," Harold said, "I'm not one to judge, everyone's into what they're into, but ew." "Wait," Ashley said, "Is that why you always wanted Miss Grimmish to babysit us when were little? Because she was like in her 70s too." "I'm respectful of the elderly," Jason said, his fists tightening, "That's all it is. They're wise, they have knowledge they can give us, it's nothing sexual. I did not get anything out of it other than that," "He told me he once had a dream about Miss Hinkley where he woke up and his sheets were all sticky," Carl said, and Anna started cracking up. Jason could feel his face flushing, and he balled his hands up completely on his knees, rage building up inside of him. Harold took his turn and played off 'Regards', as Ashley searched her tiles for something to make, still snickering to herself. "You know," Ashley said, "I liked my history teacher when I was in high school, but he was at least in his late 30s." "Mr. Cumberland?" Carl asked, and Ashley nodded, coughing into her scarf. "Yeah," she replied, "Yeah, he was very nice to me, probably because I always flirted with him." "Back when I was teaching," Harold said, "That was a big problem at the university. You think it's bad now because it's all over the news, but no, it's been an ongoing problem for a long time. Not just female students either, but male students hooking up with their female professors and everything. Female students and female professors, the possibilities are endless and always possible." "Really?" Anna asked, "I guess I never really think about it since Belle is so young, but I guess I had crushes on my teachers too." "I'm glad Betty and I were smart enough and waited until she graduated to become official," Harold said, and everyone stopped what they were doing, all staring at him as he reached into the chip bowl on the table beside him, pushing chips into his mouth. He finished chewing, noticed their glances and asked, "What?" "Wait...mom was a student?" Ashley asked. "Your mother was a student, she was my TA," Harold said, "Things were very close to being very serious between us, but we waited until she graduated and it wouldn't be weird, mostly because another professor caught a lot of shit dating a TA of his own, and we didn't want to go down that road after seeing how poorly they were treated because of it." Nobody really knew what to say. Ashley shook her head and finally played her word, making a word off Harold's and then waited for Jason, who was still staring at his father with his jaw a bit agape. Carl and Anna were conversing over Carl's letter choices, but Jason couldn't be bothered at all to even notice the game anymore. He was stuck on this mind blowing revelation about his parents. "Is that why mom is like 10 years younger than you?" Jason asked. "Yeah, she was going back to school to finish her degree and stuff, and became my TA during that process," Harold said, "She was so beautiful then, I mean she still is today, but god she was stunning, and I couldn't take my eyes off of her. We kept things so secretive, and we always sent one another flowers and little gifts, anonymously, so nobody suspected us." "Awww," Ashley and Anna said in unison, sing songy. Jason finally played a word, 'Total', off of Ashley's word, and then looked back at his father. He was fixated on this. "So you and mom-" "We waited until she graduated, and I took a year leave so we could really see how serious it would be," Harold said, "I really wanted it to work. I knew from the second date onward that she was the woman I wanted to have a family with." "Awww," Ashley and Anna said in unison again. "So mom and you-" "Eat it bitch!" Carl said, slamming down his tiles, building the word 'Portrait' off Jason's word, landing on a triple word score and a double letter score on the 'P' tile. Jason looked at the board for a few minutes, then stood up and started walking out of the room. Ashley grabbed his arm and stopped him, standing up behind him, getting him to face her. "Jason, come on, just finish the game," Ashley said, "I'm sick and I came, so you-" "Did you not hear dad? Did you not hear this tonight? That our father was the epitome of the cliche pervy professor?" Jason asked. "Hey!" Harold said soundly, "I may have been pervy, but I was barely a professor, thank you very much." "Jason-" Ashley started, looking him in the eyes, and then within seconds, while everyone waited for something profound to come out of her mouth, were instead greeted by a storm of vomit collapsing into Jason's nice leather shoes. Jason screamed and stormed out of the house, while Carl helped Ashley, telling Anna to go to her husband. Jason hadn't gotten very far, he was merely sitting on the front porch swing with his shoes off, looking out at the lawn. Anna sat down beside him, and sighed, pulling her hair back a little. "Jason-" "You heard my dad." "Why's it bother you so much? So he dated your mother while she was a student, what's the-" "That's...that's not it. You heard him. You heard how he spoke about her and how much he loved her. How he knew from their second date that she was the woman he wanted to have a family with, her beautiful she was..." Jason said, starting to tear up a little, "My father...I've never really felt like he and I were very similar, and know I really know we aren't because...because I've never treated you with a modicum of love the way he has with my mother." "...Jason, that's not true, you're very sweet to me," Anna said, holding his hand, "You're not cold hearted or something, you're a very sweet man, and you can be very romantic in your own way. So you're not that open about your emotions, so what, not many men are, but that doesn't mean you care any less. I know you care. I know you love me." Jason didn't respond. Meanwhile, Carl had helped Ashley into the upstairs bathroom, wiping off her clothes while she sat on the toilet, almost in tears. Carl felt really bad for his sister. Not only was she sick, and having to do family game night while being sick, but he could feel something else was bothering her. "Why didn't you bring your date tonight?" Carl asked. "I don't know," Ashley said, "After that night, things haven't been as good between us. All this talk about crushes and stuff tonight-" "Look, we were kids, you know how it is," Carl said. "Oh I know, I'm not going to judge you," Ashley said, "I just...I think I have a crush on Anna." "...really?" Carl asked, sitting on the side of the tub, next to the toilet, now just talking to his sister, "You like Jason's wife? Do you think it's serious, or?" "I gave her a bracelet tonight," Ashley said, "It was under the guise that she was pregnant, a sort of congrats gift, but it's not that at all. It's just that I...I really like her. She's so pretty, and really smart and sweet and Jason is..." "He's Jason." "Exactly." "...thanks for talking to me about it Carl," Ashley said, and Carl smiled, patting her shoulder. *** Laying in bed at home, Anna kept turning the bracelet around on her wrist when Jason came in with two bowls of ice cream, surprising her. She thanked him, and they ate ice cream together, laughing at late night talk shows. After Jason fell asleep, and Anna laid in bed, unable to sleep, she picked up her cell phone from the night stand and sent Ashley and Carl a Facebook Scrabble game request. Carl must've been asleep because he didn't respond, but Ashley did, and the girls spent the night playing Scrabble alone. Turns out Carl wasn't actually asleep, however, but that Ashley had asked him to not respond to the request, so she and Anna could play alone, and he'd done as she'd asked. "Sometimes the best way to spend time with someone is by not doing anything at all together," Harold had once said, in defense of family game night. Turns out he was right.
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Family Game Night follows the Fuller family, a (possibly too) tight knit family who meet every Thursday night to play board games...and air their dirty laundry. Archives
March 2019
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