Jason Fuller could remember the first time he ever met Anna Chlumsky. It was in college, about their third year in, and he met her at a book fair. She was reciting poetry she'd written herself, and then a few weeks later he spotted her playing a ukulele outside in the quad for the sake of performance one night. He couldn't stop thinking about her, thinking about how god damned beautiful she was. She was about 5'7, she had that farm girl paleness to her, freckles splattered across her face over the bridge of her nose and her cheeks, that medium length auburn hair that glinted in any light she stood in. She had a laugh that could hypnotize anyone else into laughing as well, and was so thoughtful, so caring, so funny. He just had to get to know her.
By the time they were out of college, they were a serious couple, and she'd met the Fuller family on numerous occasions. They loved her, and she liked them well enough too. She and Jason wanted the same things from life, they were both driven and hard working, they liked a lot of the same stuff. It seemed like a match made in heaven. To hear Jason tell it. Anna, however, felt trapped. Sure, she loved Jason. She knew she could have a life with this person. But that didn't stop her from questioning things. She knew she didn't want to be that settled down that early into her life. She didn't want to be that pigeonholed. She wanted...a life, first. She wanted to live. So whereas Jason could remember the first time he ever saw Anna Chlumsky, Anna Chlumsky could remember the first time she ever met Ashley Fuller. Admiring her own boyfriends sister from a distance, always wondering, always thinking...and now it was real. Now she was sitting in Ashley's car, down the street from the Fuller household, kissing the woman she'd forever wondered if she could be with. Anna was pushed against the passenger side, the back of her head against the window, as Ashley kissed her neck, biting gently, Anna moaning softly. After a few minutes, Ashley stopped and looked at Anna. "Are you okay?" Ashley asked. "I am really okay, yeah," Anna said, "I feel like a hypocrite, being with someone and yet being mad at my husband for doing the same thing, but, that's life I guess. Nothing is every cut and dry or crystal clear." "You are so goddamned beautiful, I can't imagine why my brother would EVER sleep with someone else," Ashley said. Anna smirked, ran her hands through her own hair and exhaled. "There's a lot of history between your brother and I," Anna said, "A lot of stuff you don't know about. Men romanticize their relationships because they want to think they're emulating what they see in films, women romanticize films because they want it to be real life. Jason isn't a bad guy. He's....he has said some cruel things, and he has done some bad stuff, but everyone does, everyone has, and he's not that bad a person. He's just lost and confused and angry." "I get it," Ashley said, "...when Jason left for college, I was still in high school and I wanted to be him, I wanted to be out on my own and experiencing life, but...people always say 'isn't it funny' when referring to how when you're a kid you wanna be an adult and when you're an adult you yearn for childhood, but they're wrong, it isn't funny. It's sick. It's cruel." Anna looked out the windshield and saw Jason pull up and park in the driveway. After a few minutes, he got out and went inside. Anna turned to Ashley, grabbed the back of her neck and kept right on kissing her. *** Jason entered the foyer and found Carl sitting alone at the island in the kitchen. He walked in and unzipped his windbreaker, only to recognize that Carl was...in a dress, and, from what he could tell, had makeup on? Jason walked to the island and stood opposite from them, finishing unzipping his windbreaker before pulling a stool aside to sit on. "Hey," Jason said, and Carl just nodded, not even looking up from what they were reading, so Jason continued, "Where is everyone?" "Mom and dad are upstairs, and I don't know where Ashley is. I guess she isn't here yet," they replied, "How're you?" "I'm okay," Jason said, "My jaw's still a little sore," he added as he walked to the fridge and got out a fruit juice drink, twisting the cap off and taking a drink, "I uh...I like your dress, it's a very nice pattern." "Oh," Carl said, looking at it and then at their brother, smiling, "Thank you." "What's the game tonight?" Jason asked. "Trouble," Carl said, "...speaks volumes, actually." "...Carl, I really want to apologize for last week. I...I am so so fucking sorry. I am just so frustrated and upset and angry. You and Ashley and Anna, you all know who you are and I...I don't know who I am. I feel like I just took what society TOLD me I am and have been living as that for all these years. I wish I was as confident about myself as you all are. I love you. If you're my brother, I love you, if you're my sister I love you, no matter what I love you." Carl stood up, walked around the isle and hugged Jason tightly, crying into their shirt. Jason just hugged them back, ruffling their hair. He smiled and laid his chin on the top of their head, just embracing the moment. Ashley and Anna came into the kitchen to this sight and were confused, until Carl pulled away from Jason and Ashley grinned. "You look so good!" Ashley said, giving Carl a hug, "Did you do your own makeup?" "Yeah..." Carl said, their voice shaking, clearly nervous. While Ashley and Carl talked, Anna grabbed Jason's sleeve and nodded toward the front porch. He followed her out there, shutting the door behind them. Anna sat on the porch swing, while Jason did the same, a bit of space between them. "Um..." Anna said, "...I figured this was the right thing to do, so I've discussed it and I'm going to do it. I forgive you for what you did with my sister. I know you're unhappy, and I know that things aren't good between us, like, at ALL, and uh...I've been spending the night at your sisters a lot, so if you've been wondering where I am, that's where I've been." "Well that's nice of her," Jason said, "You just talking about me? Hahaha." "...I'm sleeping with your sister," Anna said, "I know, the irony is hilarious, believe me I get it." "You don't have to say anything, Anna. I feel like I trapped you inadvertently by marrying you without really asking you more about what you wanted. I...have done some terrible things the last few weeks, and I've said some awful stuff to everyone, and I just don't think I'm the person you're meant to be with." "...what?" "I just think you deserve someone a lot better than me," Jason said, smiling, "You're a beautiful, intelligent, remarkable woman, Anna, and you deserve so much more than I've ever managed to give you in the entire time you've been with me. Come on, let's go in and see if the game's ready." As it turned out, Harold and Betty were already finished setting up, and Ashley and Carl were sitting side by side on the floor. Anna sat on the couch beside Jason, as everyone put their pieces on the starting lines and started taking their turns. Carl cleared their throat and smiled as they finished their turn. "I have a job interview," Carl said, "I think...I might get this job. It's tomorrow. This is the second interview, so I'm really nervous but I'm excited." "That's awesome," Ashley said, taking her turn, "I've been turning in work like crazy trying to catch up on the lost revenue from Snack Cats, but it's going pretty well. Still, I'm exhausted every night because I've been working so much." "Well, your mother and I won't be here for next weeks game night," Harold said, as everyone turned to look in surprise. "Yeah, we're going to see my uncle in the hospital, so we'll be out of town for a bit," Betty said, "You all feel free to play though if you want." "Carl," Jason said, clearing his throat, scratching the back of his neck, "Uh...will your work let you..wear whatever you want, or?" "...I...I don't even know that I would, I mean, I'm almost not even comfortable doing it here," they replied, "It's kind of new for me to be this open around people, even if those people are you assholes. But maybe?" "If you run into any trouble, I know someone who can help you legally, if you want to pursue that," Jason said, everyone sort of quiet in awe at his kind nature, especially in regards towards Carl, "But that's totally up to you." "Thank you, Jason," Carl replied, watching Anna take their turn. "It's a shame that you guys will be out of town next week because Belle is in a play at school and she asked if you guys could come," Anna said, "She'll be a bit upset." "We're sorry, you know we would but this is very urgent," Betty said, "We don't even know if he's gonna last until we get there. It's a real shot in the dark even trying, but I owe it to him. He's my favorite uncle, and I wish I'd seen him more recently." "I understand," Anna said, "We'll videotape it for you and you can watch it when you get back." "That would be lovely," Betty said, "We'll make sure to get it from you when we get back." "You know, I went to the store earlier and ran into Sarah Riddley, the girl who used to babysit you guys, remember? She was a teenager at the time. She's getting married now and it's just so weird to see other people you knew who aren't your children getting older and growing up," Harold said, "She was really nice still, she said to tell you hi Carl." "She asked for me by name?" "Yeah, she said to tell everyone hi and tell Carl I miss them," Harold said and Carl blushed, as Harold continued, "It's just weird, you don't gauge how much time has passed until the time has passed, you know? You never realize how fast your kids are growing up until it's twenty years down the line and suddenly your kid's getting married and you wake up and go 'holy shit, I am old, what the fuck happened?' ya know. It's a very-" "I want a divorce," Jason said, as Harold dropped his gamepiece onto the board and everyone stared at him. Anna's jaw was lowered, her eyes wide, nobody saying a word. This was not what they'd expected, and had they expected it, they especially hadn't expected Jason to be the one to ask for it. After a few moments, Anna managed to squeak out a quiet, "What?" "I want a divorce," Jason said, smiling, looking calm as can be, "I want you to have a divorce from me, so you can live your life the way you want to and I can stop holding you back." "...I...I don't...is it my turn?" Anna asked, as someone handed Jason the dice. "After me," he said, rolling, "Anyway, I've already contacted a lawyer, so I suggest you do the same. We can do it really easy, we can just split things right down the middle. I don't want you to give anything up, and I'll pay child support. We can do split custody or you can have full custody and I'll just have weekends if that's what you want. Whatever you wanna do, Anna." A long silence. Anna didn't respond. She just took her turn and then gave the dice back to Ashley as Carl folded their arms. "I don't 'get' board games," they said, completely ignoring Jason's statements, "I mean the entire idea is friendly competition. That's a phrase we hear far too often, right? Friendly competition. That's an oxymoron. There's no such thing as 'friendly competition'. If you're competing, you're trying to win. The competition part totally undermines the friendly aspect. I don't know, just bugs me." "You guys hear that siren? It's the semantics police," Ashley said, snickering. "After what you did, after what I told you earlier, you want a divorce?" Anna asked, still apparently stuck in that moment, and then, turning to Harold, asked, "Did you ever fail to give your wife an orgasm?" Betty, admittedly, did a spit take back into her wine glass, nearly laughing. Harold cracked up, as Ashley's jaw dropped now and even Carl looked a bit bewildered by this turn of events. "Uh, well, if you're asking my ego then of course not, if you want the truth, you'd have to ask her," Harold said. "Harold has been a very considerate lover," Betty said, "But nobody can be perfect all the time." "Holy god, what're you doing," Carl asked, horrified at this conversation. "But you tried, at least, yeah? You gave it your all? You didn't ask her to dress up like someone else, or call her by the wrong name repeatedly? You wanted her and only her? Why make love to someone you're clearly not in love with, am I right? Because that's what I've been dealing with the last few years," Anna said, now turning to look back at Jason, "It's obvious that what you said on the porch was true, that's why it surprised me, because even YOU recognized the reality of it. You obviously haven't been in love with me for a long time, you just love the CONCEPT of me, a wife, a homemaker, a child rearer." "You're absolutely right, yes," Jason said, "That's what society has taught men to strive for. I did love you. I still do. But you're right, not in the way you want me to, that you need me to or that you even deserve to be loved. That's why I want you to leave me. Because I recognize my shortcomings and that you should be given more than I have given you or ever could give you." "....is he a pod person?" Carl asked, "Did...did aliens take over your body? Where's our brother?" Carl took their turn as Harold and Betty watched the tension and confusion between Jason and Anna. After a few minutes, Anna started laughing hysterically. Jason cracked a smile and began to laugh as well. "What is WRONG with you people?" Carl asked, "Your marriage just fell apart!" "I know!" Jason said, happily tossing his arms into the air, "Isn't it great?!" "God, why didn't we just break up a long time ago?" Anna asked. "I don't know!" Jason said gleefully, "I feel like an entire weight has been lifted off my shoulders! Let's just finish this fuckin game, guys! Family game night, right?!" Carl and Ashley exchanged a nervous, confused glance behind Anna's back, as they continued with the game. *** That evening, after the game had ended and everyone went home, Ashley stayed behind to help clean up and shut the house down so her folks could go to sleep. Anna and Jason had actually gone home together, probably to discuss the dissolvement of their marriage, and Ashley felt alone. She walked out the front door and took out a pack of cigarettes, lit one and then spotted Carl sitting on the porch swing, still in their dress. Ashley sat down next to them and sighed, scratching her forehead with her pinky nail. "Do you think....do you think the people we end up with will ever hate us like that?" Ashley asked. "I don't think Jason and Anna hate eachother, that's the thing. I think they love and respect one another so much that they recognize they're not supposed to be together and they don't want to lie anymore. That's kind of beautiful, actually," Carl said. "...you look really pretty," Ashley said and Carl smiled. "I feel really comfortable," Carl said, "I actually feel really comfortable. It's amazing what just dressing in the right clothes can do for your mental health." "I'm sorry if this is too personal or something but...are you going to go any further?" Ashley asked, "I mean, the strides made in this field, hormone replacement therapy is like magic, man, have you seen the shit it can do? Some shots or some pills and bam, that's that. I mean, I know it doesn't ease the overall pain, but it can make people so much happier, and more comfortable and-" "I don't know, Ashley, honestly. Right now I really don't know," Carl said, "I just know that I look at Jason and Anna and I think 'I NEVER want to be THAT unhappy', you know? So yeah, maybe I will, because if I don't then I might never and then I'll die without really being who I am, and that's wrong. We should all be who we are." A cool breeze wafted by, ringing their mothers wind chimes on the front porch. Ashley exhaled her smoke into the clear night sky and sighed. "...I guess I'll go home," Ashley said, "...you know, I'm behind you 100% ok?" "I know Ash, thanks," Carl said. She smiled, walked down the driveway, got into her car and left. Carl pulled out their cell phone and got onto social media. They searched for a bit and finally found Sarah Riddley. They smiled, put their finger on the screen and clicked "Send friend request". Upstairs, Harold was reading a book while Betty flipped through the TV channels, landing on a cooking show. Harold cleared his throat and looked at his wife, lowering his reading glasses. "So that stuff earlier, about how nobody can be perfect all the time?" he asked. "Total lies, sweetheart," Betty said, "You rock my world." "I knew it," Harold replied, going back to reading.
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Family Game Night follows the Fuller family, a (possibly too) tight knit family who meet every Thursday night to play board games...and air their dirty laundry. Archives
March 2019
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