It was a quiet evening. Harold and Betty Fuller were out of town, Ashley was working late and having a dinner date with a potential client and Carl had gotten hired by that job they'd mentioned so they were working. For once in the past few months, Anna thought she had a night free. As she came into the apartment, setting her coat up on a hanger by the door, she tossed her purse on the kitchen counter and noticed Jason setting up a game on the coffee table in their living room. Anna stopped in her tracks.
"...watcha doin'?" she asked. "Well, just because everyone else is gone, you heard my folks, doesn't mean we can't have game night," Jason said, putting his hands on his knees and looking at the game, "I picked battleship, mostly because it's not really a board game and my father would never include it." "...no," Anna said, starting to laugh, "No, we aren't doing this, not this week. I'm taking a shower, I'm eating something and I am going to bed and reading. I have the night off for once and I am not gonna waste it playing a game," she finished, her voice trailing off into their hallway to their bedroom. "I guess you wouldn't, being a chicken and all," Jason said. Anna popped her head back out from the hallway and looked at him. "Did you just call me a chicken?" she asked, "Did you...did you seriously just call me a chicken?" "I call 'em like I see 'em," Jason said, grinning. "Ok, first of all, I think everyone in our lives has made it very clear that you are actually the chicken. I'll go on rollercoasters. You won't. You're the chicken." "Takes one to know one." "What're you, five years old?" Anna asked, putting her hands on her hips, laughing. She sighed and came to sit on the other side of the coffee table, where Jason had set up her Battleship station. She took a few minutes putting her ships onto the board. Once she was done, he rubbed his hands together and started the game, taking his turn. "F5. So," Jason started, "How's my sister?" "Miss. She's doing fine. She's having dinner with a potential client tonight, working late. I'm seeing her tomorrow," Anna said, "Uh...J7." "Miss," Jason replied, "What time is Belle's recital tomorrow? C4." "Hit, ironically," Anna said, placing a peg on her boat, "It's at 6, so we need to be there early enough to set up a camera and stuff. A6." "They're never going to watch it," Jason replied, "Hit." "What do you mean they're never going to watch it?" "Ashley did a lot of dance stuff, and they were always busy working or something so Carl or I taped the performances. They never watched them. Our parents act great, and in many ways are great. They're loving and accepting and all that wonderful stuff, but they aren't perfect," Jason said as he put a peg on his boat, "A3." "...miss," Anna said, "...Well, just because your parents are that way doesn't mean we have to be that way. A7." "Hit," Jason said, placing a peg on a boat, "No, but we're already way worse than my parents. Look at this failed fucking marriage. Not that that's a bad thing, I mean, at least we tried. Too many people don't even try. We at least gave it a fair shot, had a kid, spent some nice years together. There's no shame in things falling apart, that's what I'm trying to teach myself. H6." "Hit," Anna said, placing a peg on her boat, and clearing her throat, "Yeah, but there's shame that comes from others judging you. Okay, so you don't feel bad that you failed, but everyone else feels bad that we failed. Doesn't that mean anything to you? Or are you just so in denial now that you're going to claim you don't care what others think? Because the people who don't care what others think are goddamned liars. B2." "Hit," Jason said, "Anna, you're overlooking the big picture here. I have come to terms with what I've done, how I've hurt people, and that I'm kind of a bad person, yes. That I need to change. So okay sure, I care what others think, but their opinions about me aren't why I'm trying to fix myself." "You're sure as hell not trying for me," Anna said. "I'm trying for the best of everyone," Jason said, "I'm the only one in the family who is detached from reality. You're all growing, learning, changing. I'm stuck in believing that I have to be who I've been my entire life because that's what society pounds into our heads from the second we're born. It assigns us a gender role and tells us 'you can only be gay or straight' or 'you can only fail or succeed' when that is really such fucking bullshit. I am tired of being the only one at family game night who isn't part of the family." "You're not not part of the family, Jason, for chrissakes, it's YOUR family. I'M your wife. I'M the one not related to them," Anna said, "If anyone isn't a part of the family, it's ME. You wanna spout off some pop therapy platitudes to make yourself feel better, that's fine, but don't deny the fact that if and when this divorce happens, you're the one who still has a family, and you're the one who'll still go to game night and you-" "You'll come, you're seeing Ashley," Jason interrupted. "It's your turn, by the way," Anna said. "C5," Jason said as Anna plugged another peg into her boat. "B3," Anna said, watching Jason peg another, "Don't turn this around to be about you and what you're going to lose, okay? YOU'RE the one who wants this divorce. I'm fine with a separation, taking some time apart and thinking about things, and-" "No," Jason said sternly, shaking his head, "No, it's divorce or nothing." "Why are you so deadset on-" "Because I don't like limbo!" Jason shouted, "J2!" "Hit," Anna said, pegging her ship, "B4! Jason, I'm willing to work on things, but you're so deadset against things already being so far gone that you aren't willing to listen to the possibilities! We could fix stuff, we could-" "I don't wanna be with you!" Jason shouted, "I...I don't want to ruin your life anymore! I've held you back so long! Go and be with my sister, or whoever your wanna be with, just stop trying to be with ME!" They both exhaled, panting, out of breath. They sat back down, looking at their game boards as Anna wiped her eyes on her sleeve, trying not to openly cry in front of him. Jason rubbed his face with his hands and groaned. "B6," Jason said. "Miss," Anna said, "B5. I can't...I don't....I don't know what to say to you anymore." "Anna," Jason said, "When you told me about you and Ashley, god, your eyes lit up. They lit up in a way I haven't seen in years now. I used to see that light, but I don't get to see it anymore, and if I'm not making you light up like that, someone else should be able to. You...you deserve to be happy and loved, and if my sister can make you do that..." "What about Belle?" "Plenty of children have divorced parents." "Doesn't mean they SHOULD. I don't want Belle having no family like I had," Anna said, starting to cry. "Anna, she won't have no family!" Jason said, almost laughing, "God, I love my daughter, she's the only good thing I've ever done, and she'll still have my family and you and...Belle will be loved, I will go out of my way to make sure of that. J5." After a few seconds, Anna pegged something and looked at her lap. "You sunk my battleship, Jason," she said quietly, "you've sunk everything." "...I'm sorry, Anna, but you'll be happy, trust me," Jason said. "Trust you? Trust you about dissolving our marriage? Thinking I'll be okay?" Anna said, "...I already trusted you when you said you wanted to marry me, and that you loved me. I recognize I've made mistakes too, but at least I'm willing to try and fix things and-" "For Belle. You're fixing them for Belle. Not for you. That's the difference," Jason said, "Our child deserves a happy home, yes, and to be loved, yes, and for things to be stable, but...not at the expense of you spending the rest of your life being unhappy. I'm trying to change, Anna, and this is the first part of that." Anna pulled her knees to her chest, resting her chin on them and wrapped her arms around her knees, looking at the battleship board. "You know, when I was a little kid, Monica and I played board games all the time," Anna said, "It was the only thing we had to do, ya know, our family was so distant and split up and unhappy. But we had eachother and we spent so much time playing board games. Even well into high school we spent so much time together at nights just...playing board games, because we loved being with one another." "....and?" "I fucking hate board games now," Anna said, "I also fucking hate my sister. Guess who's fault both of those are." "I take full responsibility for those, yes," Jason said. Anna stood up and grabbed her jacket, pulling it back on. "Do you wanna play another game? There's still a lot to discuss," Jason said. "No, Jason, I don't wanna play another fucking game. I am done playing games. Fuck battleship and fuck you," Anna said as she exited the apartment, slamming the door behind her. Jason sat on the couch, just listening to the traffic outside when Belle appeared in the living room, looking at him. "Daddy?" she asked. "Hey pumpkin," Jason said, "C'mere." Belle walked over and sat beside Jason, snuggling up alongside her father as he gently stroked her hair and kissed her forehead. "What's going on?" Belle asked. "Oh...nothing really. Your father's just kind of a bad person. You want me to read you a bedtime story?" he asked, and she nodded happily. Jason picked her up and carried her off to bed. *** Anna pulled over on the bridge connecting the two sides of the city, took a few deep breaths and then started pounding her steering wheel, screaming "fuck you" at he top of her lungs repeatedly. After a few minutes, she opened the glove compartment, pulled out a pen and a scrap of paper and started writing furiously. When she was done, she took a bobbypin from her hair and pinned the note to her shirt, then got out of the car. Anna walked slowly from the car over to the bridge wall and took a deep breath, then climbed on top. Below was the dark cold bay, crashing and swirling. All it would take was a single step. *bzzzzz!* Anna stopped, her foot dangling over the edge. Her phone buzzed again within her jacket pocket. She pulled it out and swiped the screen to see a text. "Hey, out early. You wanna play Scrabble on fb?" from Ashley Fuller. Anna took a few quick breaths, and realized that board games have ruined her marriage, but they've also just saved her life. She stepped off the bridge back onto the road and replied she would like that, but in person, and that she was coming over with chinese food. Scrabble stopped her suicide. Fucking Hasbro.
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Family Game Night follows the Fuller family, a (possibly too) tight knit family who meet every Thursday night to play board games...and air their dirty laundry. Archives
March 2019
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