Melanie couldn't believe her eyes. Standing there in the hallway, her eyes wide, her jaw somewhat slack, she almost wanted to pinch herself to make sure she wasn't dreaming or something. She wanted to walk down the hall and talk to her, but she was terrified at what would happen if she did. After all, the last time she'd seen Lisa, she'd tied Melanie to a chair and then stabbed her friend.
Needless to say, things had been left pretty awkward between them. *** "Name?" "Lisa Pankow," the attendant said, as the doctor took Lisa's name down. "Reason for staying?" "Too many to list," the attendant said, "but let's just say complete mental breakdown. Violent tendencies, overt obsessive tendencies, stalking, inability to tell reality from fantasy, do you want more?" "No, that'll be fine," the doctor replied, jotting it all down. After Lisa's information was taken down, and she was put into the system, they gave her the clothes she'd be wearing for the stay and took anything potentially sharp away from her, ranging from pens all the way to hair clips. Then she was led to her room, put inside and left to her own devices for the remainder of the day so she could become acclimated to her new surroundings. Lisa just sat on her bed and didn't get up for the rest of the day, not even to look out the window. Lisa hadn't always been this sick, or at least, not so obviously so. She'd always been able to maintain a facade of what society would consider "normalcy", until about the time she met Shane. Sure, she'd always been that weird girl, but it wasn't until she met Shane while working her part time job at the grocery store that she began to lose it altogether. At first, Shane thought her quirks were just that, quirks, and not symptoms of a more serious underlying mental health instability, but when she started following him around, taking pictures of him from afar, that was when he started to draw the line. And when she met Melanie in the support group, immediately recognizing her from the photos in Shane's apartment, she formulated a plan to get back into his life. *** "It's her, I'm sure of it," Melanie said, sitting with Gus and Bea at the lunch tables outside. Gus had brought lunch from one of Melanie's favorite restaurants, and the three of them were sitting at one of the large wooden picnic tables outdoors. "Did you say anything to her?" Gus asked, and Mel shook her head. "I want to, but I don't know exactly how to approach someone who held you hostage," she said, "I mean, I can't just be like 'hey, how have you been? taken anyone else hostage lately?', because that's not only insensitive it's also weird." Bea chuckled as she took another bite of her pita sandwich. Gus picked up his soda and sipped through the straw for a long while, until he set it back down, cleared his throat and looked back at Mel across the table. "Maybe it's worth it," he said, surprising them both, as he added, "I mean, obviously not like that, but maybe it's worth it overall to talk to her. Who knows, maybe she's doing great now, you know? Maybe she's got all her issues sorted out and she's in a much better place than she used to be. Maybe things could actually be cordial between you two." "Yeah, maybe you could even take someone hostage together as a team building exercise," Bea said, making Gus laugh. "...what if she's not though? I mean, what if she's somehow even worse?" Mel asked. "Come on," Gus said, "People don't get worse in places like this. That's why they come here. To get better." Maybe Gus was right. The only way to know for sure was to talk to Lisa. *** "I talked to Melanie on the phone," Emma said, sitting across from Shane in their usual diner spot, "she told me Lisa was at the same home she was. I figured you should know, considering." "I don't want anything to do with that woman," Shane said, "I mean, great for her, I hope she's getting the help she so clearly needs, but I don't want her involved in my life in any way ever again. Hopefully Mel is doing well enough to recognize that she too should stay away." Emma stirred her cup of coffee, then reached to the side of the table and picked up a packet of sugar, tearing it open and pouring it into the cup, stirring it again. "Let's discuss something other than the girl who stalked me," Shane said. "Forgive me for dwelling on it," Emma said, "But, you know, she stabbed my fiance, after all." "I know, and I'm sorry that happened," Shane said, "I just don't like to think about the whole situation. I'd prefer to move on." "Then what are you still doing here?" Emma asked, taking Shane by surprise. "What?" "You always say you never got to live your own life because you were always looking after Melanie, but she's in good hands now, she's getting help, and Lisa's out of your life, and communication between your mother and sister are good again, so why are you sticking around? If I'm moving on with my life, why aren't you? Move out of the city, go somewhere you always wanted to go, do something you always wanted to do." "It...it's not that easy," Shane said quietly, "I can't just leave." "Sure ya can," Emma said, sipping from her cup, "I mean, everything that was holding you back is gone now, right? It's all fixed, or being fixed, and your presence isn't a requirement anymore, so why stick around?" Shane didn't respond, making Emma furrow her brow. "is it...me?" she asked, and he sighed, scratching his forehead as she whispered, "oh, god, I...I don't..." "It's fine, I just...I'm ignoring it. I'm ignoring everything." "You know, if I wasn't, I mean, if I were available, I would-" "I know," Shane said, smiling a little now, "but the fantasy is nice to keep alive. That's why I like having these little meetings with you. Sort of feels like we have something even when we don't. It's not that easy to just walk away from that." Emma didn't know what to say. She liked Shane, she couldn't deny that, especially not to him when he was already well aware of the fact, but she was also engaged. Together they sat in silence for a bit, drinking their coffee, occasionally glancing out the window by the table, until Emma sighed and swept her bangs from her eyes. "Please don't stay because of me," Emma said. "...why?" "Because I don't wanna be the one to blame when you realize one day you wasted your life on a fantasy that can't come true," Emma said, "That isn't fair to me. Hell, it isn't even fair to you. You should get out of the city, like I said, go do something else. Meet someone else." Shane nodded, looking at his hands on the table. The thing is, and he was afraid to say this out loud, he was afraid to leave the city. He was afraid that he'd already spent so much of his life looking out for others that he didn't know how to look out for himself. He didn't know how to live any other way than he already was. But...but maybe she was right. She usually was. That was one of the things he liked most about Emma, was how smart she was, especially when it came to other people. Maybe it was time to move on after all. "Does Darren know she's there?" Shane asked. "No, and I prefer to keep it that way. I doubt the last person he'd wanna see is the girl who stabbed him," Emma said. "An understandable feeling," Shane replied, the both of them chuckling. *** Melanie had never been great at making friends, this was why Lisa's betrayal had hurt so deeply. But now...now they were once again in the same place, working presumably towards the same goal - to get healthier - and maybe this was the right time to be friends. Maybe now, with some distance from the situation prior, they could actually be friends. She'd been seeing her around the home for a week now, but was still unsure of how exactly how to approach her, despite desperately wanting to. This night in particular, Lisa was again in the hall, mopping. Melanie was standing at the end of the hall, watching, and Lisa didn't seem to even be remotely aware of her presence. Melanie finally took a deep breath and started down the hall towards Lisa. As she approached, she reached out and touched Lisa's shoulder, which made her jump. She backed away and turned to face Melanie, with almost a look of complete unrecognization on her face. "Lisa?" Melanie asked. "....yes?" her voice weak and timid, certainly no longer the bombastic woman she'd previously been. "It's...it's me, Melanie, Shane's brother?" Mel asked, "I'm sure you remember me, all things considered." Lisa nodded slowly. "How have you been?" Mel asked. "...bad," Lisa finally said. "Really? But you're here to get better, aren't you?" "You don't get it," Lisa said, almost laughing nervously as she shook her head, "I'm not gonna get better." *** "Can I ask you a question?" Emma asked as she and Darren stood at the stove, cooking dinner together, or rather while Darren cooked dinner and Emma helped him with simple tasks. "I sure hope so, otherwise it means you've forgotten how," Darren said, making Emma smirk. "Smartass," she said, "um...do you remember the girl who stabbed you?...alright that was stupidly worded. Remember when that girl stabbed you in Melanie's apartment?" "Of course, who couldn't forget such an oddly erotic evening such as that," Darren said, as Emma stared at him, eyes wide. "Dude, what," she said flatly, making him laugh as she shook her head and continued, "Well, I was just thinking about that whole thing this afternoon and I guess I was wondering how you would react if you ran into her again, considering." "...ya know, I've thought a lot about it," Darren said, "I mean, she not only took a friend hostage, she not only stabbed me but she also made me use a cane for the foreseeable future, and even after all that, I don't think I'd blame her outright. Like Melanie, she was clearly sick, and while that doesn't inherently excuse her actions, it at least explains them, and I'd be remiss if I didn't recognize that those actions aren't necessarily her own in some way. With the right help, she'd likely not do that sort of thing. Am I still mad? Yeah, honestly. Would I also forgive her? At some point. Anger isn't worth holding onto." "That's very mature for you," Emma said. "What's that supposed to mean?" Darren asked, laughing, "honestly, I'm mostly mad that she almost took me away from you, more than anything else. I don't mind the cane, I don't even mind having been stabbed - even if it hurt like hell at the moment - and while I'm certainly nonplussed about her holding a friend hostage, I'm more than anything mad that she almost took you out of my life by taking me out of my life." Emma blushed and continued cutting up chunks of meat on the counter as Darren kissed the side of her head. "What made you think of that?" Darren asked. "Just...thinking about Melanie, thinking about the changes she brought to our life," Emma said, "and how, despite making it different, she also made it better. She's doing so well now, and it's nice to see, but it made me think about that other girl." "Well," Darren said, "Melanie might be weird but at least she never stabbed me. She's earned my good grace from that alone. I like people who don't stab me." "That goes without saying," Emma said, the both of them giggling. Emma stopped cutting and looked at the board, the meat, then back at Darren. "Yeah?" he asked. "...you aren't just marrying me because it's easier than starting over, are you?" she asked. "Holy hell you're a ball of insecurities tonight," Darren said, "of course not, why would you even-" "Just...if we broke up, would you be able to move on? Would you be able to get on with your life? Or would you be so hung up on me that you wouldn't be able to leave?" Emma asked. "Wow, think pretty highly of yourself don't you?" Darren asked, chuckling, "Yeah, of course I'd be devastated, but I think I'd also eventually have to move on. I mean, that's life, right? No use sticking around for people who don't want me here. But I would hope that never happens. I love you. I want you to be my wife. So it's all moot, right?" Emma looked back down at the cutting board. Was it all moot? Shane had said he couldn't move on because of her, and they hadn't even been romantically involved exactly. Why would it be so easy for Darren, who'd spent so much time with her, to be able to move on? She sighed and finished cutting the meat, scraping it off the board into the pot he had on the stove. She then excused herself, went to the bathroom and dug her cell phone out of her purse. She sat on the toilet lid and dialed a number. "Hello?" Shane asked, answering. "What are you doing right now?" Emma asked. "Watching someone try and play an instrument on some terrible live talent show," Shane said, "Why?" "...it's just nice to hear your voice." *** "Not gonna get better?" Mel asked, "What...what does that mean?" "What does it sound like?" Lisa asked, shrugging, "it means I'm not one of those people who gets to get better. This is who I am. This is who I'll always be. Sure, I might be stabilized, but I'll never be okay enough to be like everyone else." "I'm...I'm sorry," Mel whispered and Lisa shrugged again. "what's it matter anyway, right?" she asked softly, "I mean...what good did I do in the world? I'm better in here. Everyone's better when I'm in here, removed from the outside." "That isn't true, that-" "You need to stay away from me," Lisa said, stammering, voice cracking, "I...I can't get sucked back into that. This is a better place for me to be in, even if I'm never going to get better. This is something I can handle. I have chores, I have a bed, I have hobbies. This is what I need. What I don't need is people from the outside making my life more complicated. I need to finish mopping." Lisa turned back around and continued mopping, dipping her mop back into the bucket, then taking it back out and spreading it across the floor. "Lisa, I don't-" "Leave me alone!" Lisa shouted, tossing the mop on the floor and stumbling backwards, her foot stepping into the bucket, sending both the water inside and herself falling to the floor; she started to cry and back away on her hands, "Just leave me alone, please!" Mel backed away as a nurse and an orderly approached to help Lisa while she writhed on the floor, crying, begging to be left alone. Melanie turned quickly on her heel and started walking briskly down the hall until she reached her bedroom and shut the door. She leaned against the door and stared at the wall, unsure of how exactly to feel in regards to this entire situation. She walked to the bed and sat down, just as the door opened and Amelia entered cautiously. Mel looked up and Amelia shook a box she was holding in her hand. "Wanna do a puzzle?" she asked, and Mel cracked a little smile. At least she had one friend. And, unlike Lisa, she was getting better. She wasn't in a bad place anymore.
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Royally Screwed follows 24 year old Melanie Irres, an average young woman...who legitimately believes she's a princess. Archives
July 2023
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