Chiako opened her front door, her eyes wide, surprised to see Gus standing on her porch. She smiled and stepped aside, offering him entrance. He smiled and walked past her, hearing her shut the door behind them as Gus turned to face her, hands in his pockets.
"We need to talk," Gus said. "We're divorced, you're not allowed to say that anymore," Chiako said, making him chuckle. "This isn't about us, believe me," Gus said, "It's about Leaf, and...well, you, to an extent." Chiako's brow raised, as she folded her arms and leaned against the wall. "I'm listening," she said. "So, a number of times recently I've either run into Jeremy or had Leaf stop by and things have been...concerning, to say the least. Leaf says she doesn't wanna be home when he's here, and he's outright vaguely threatened me more than once. At Mel's birthday, when we jousted, I just sort of assumed it was pseudo ironic masculinity posturing, but...apparently it was very much real masculinity posturing. In hindsight, that should've been a major red flag." Chiako nodded and exhaled, standing up and walking up to Gus, but not looking at him. "...you're not wrong to be concerned," she said quietly, "things have been weird and rough between us especially lately and he's got quite a temper. Leaf specifically signed up a number of after school activities or other things in the community simply so she doesn't have to be here when he is, and frankly I don't blame her." Gus bit his lip and waited, listening. "But, and I'm sort of ashamed to admmit this, I'm scared to end it. Which is ridiculous because I was taught to defend myself, to stand up for myself. Hell, it's what caught your interest in me to begin with, remember, was how outspoken I was? But there's something about his quietly seething rage that absolutely terrifies me and makes it hard to gauge whether it's safer to stay and endure it or risk him hurting me by ending things." Gus squared his shoulders and put his hands on her shoulders. Now she looked up at him, her eyes watery. "I promise I will never let anything happen to either you or Leaf. We may not be together anymore, and I may have screwed up what we had, but that doesn't mean I don't care. I will always love you, and her. You're still my family. I'll deal with him first hand if he ever tries anything. You say the word and I'll deal with it, understand?" Chiako smiled weakly and nodded as she reached up and wiped her eyes on her sweatshirt sleeve. "Thanks Gus," she said softly, "I guess I got pretty lucky having you in my life." "Damn right you did," he replied, making them both laugh a little as he added, "I just wish I could've seen how lucky I was before I messed it all up." *** "I love puppets," Amelia said as she prepared one of the characters she and Melanie had spent the past week trying to create. They had a slew of characters ready to go, and had even announced they'd be putting on a puppet show for anyone interested in watching it. Now that the day was here, they still needed to finish some slight tweaking to their sets and cast, but otherwise were excited and ready; Amelia continued, "I know it's such an old fashioned form of entertainment, but I always loved it. I've always liked old stuff like that." "Puppet shows are the best," Melanie said, gluing a little crown onto a puppet, adding, "I always asked for a puppet show during my birthdays. And seeing as I had no friends, the show was always just for me. It felt special. Made me feel like a real princess." Amelia smiled at this story as she grabbed a gluestick and started fixing up one of the sets. "You like princesses huh?" Amelia said. "...I think I like the idea of feeling that important," Mel said, "like...I don't really know how to explain it, but...I guess...children are often unsure of their place in the world, and their worth, and I liked how lucky princesses seemed. An entire kingdom, all for them to rule, giving them power even when they're young, and everyone loved them. I liked feeling loved and heard. My parents listened to me too well, almost, but I appreciate it. Aside from my fathers death, I actually had a really good childhood, at least, while he was alive." "I'm sorry he died," Amelia said, "My parents and I never really saw eye to eye, and I wish we had. They never understood that I was sick, and now I'm so over it. I'm okay being alone. Or, relatively alone." Melanie blushed as she finished adjusting the now properly glued on crown. She set the character down on the table and sighed, looking around the room as she pulled her hair up and tying it into a messy bun. She looked at Amelia, who glanced at her as she affixed a tree to the set she was working on. "Yeah?" Amelia asked. "...um..." Melanie said, "...you aren't just doing this to hurt me, are you?" Amelia's eyes widened in surprise. "Excuse me?" "I'm sorry, I...about a year ago, I met a girl in a support girl who got close to me only so she could more effectively hurt me, and my brother, and I guess it's made me somewhat wary of trusting anyone new. God, that sounds so shitty, but-" "No, your PTSD is completely valid, I just...I didn't know that, obviously, so it caught me off guard. But no, I'm not, I promise. I like you. We like the same things. It's nice to feel safe around someone. I haven't felt that in years," Amelia said, sighing, holding the set up in front of herself and saying, "...I'm not going to hurt you. If anything, I'm more scared that I'm the one who's going to get hurt. I always get hurt. I always feel as though I have to put on a face around people I want to like me, like I'm in a play, so it's nice to find people I don't have to wear a mask in front of." Melanie smiled and nodded, understanding. She completely felt that way too. That was part of why she appreciated Gus and Emma and Darren so much, because even after all she'd put them through, after the lowest they'd seen her...they still liked her for exactly who she was, and that, Melanie had discovered, was very hard to find in this life, and if you did get lucky enough to find it, you should hold onto it for dear life and thank the universe every day. *** Bea was standing in front of the fridge when Gus got home. As she heard the door shut, she shouted hello, and when she finally came out of the fridge she found him standing in the kitchen, watching her. She had a celery stick in one hand and a jar of peanut butter in the other, and he just smiled upon seeing her. She slowly pulled the celery stick from her mouth, set the peanut butter jar down on the counter behind her and then brushed her bangs from her eyes. "Hi," she said. "Hey," he said, still chuckling, "getting a snack?" "I like food, so sue me," Bea said. "No, I like a girl with a healthy appetite, especially for destruction," Gus said, "...could you teach me to fight?" Bea stopped, halfway through putting peanut butter on her celery, and stared at Gus. She waited, then slowly shook her head, which surprised him. "What? Why not?" "Because I don't wanna teach someone how to be violent," Bea said. "You fight for a living!" "...come with me and let me tell you something," Bea said, finishing her celery and walking to the living room and sitting down on the couch, Gus sitting beside her. She bit into her celery, took a few chews and swallowed, then exhaled and said, "Do you know why I fight, Gus? When I was a little girl, my parents fought all the time. So much so that they didn't really any time for me. And this wasn't a case of either one being better than the other, they were both equally awful. But one night my dad started outright beating my mother, and I knew I couldn't let it happen anymore, so I stepped in and he beat me too. I spent weeks in the hospital." "Jesus, Beatrice, I had no-" "Then," she said, interrupting, "I vowed I wouldn't let a man do that to me ever again. I was upset he actually physically hurt my mother, but far as I was concerned, I was far more interested in protecting myself. So I got books out from the library and learned about swords, and I took fencing classes, and I learned how to fight. That way, if that time ever came again, I could rest assured kick his ass back." "Well good for you," Gus said. "And that day did indeed come," she said, "At my high school graduation. He showed up at our house unannounced, and raving about how he wasn't invited. My mother had bought me a fairly expensive sword as a graduation present, something she'd saved up for for a few years, and when he came inside the house after I deliberately warned him not to, I did what I had to. I stabbed him." "Jesus!" "I stabbed my father," Bea said, "and he didn't die, it wasn't by any means fatal, I just stabbed him in the shoulder, but it was enough to prove to him to never touch me again. It was the right thing to do in the moment, but I don't like inflicting violence on people. Yet, it's my first immediate response. Fight or flight? I fight. I fight tooth and nail like a wild animal backed into a corner. So no, I won't teach you anything. I'll kick ass if I have to, but I will not impart that wisdom on anyone else. Nobody should ever be forced to have to defend themselves." Gus could hear her voice cracking, so he reached behind her and rubbing her back, leaning towards her. "I'm sorry, I had no idea," he whispered, "hey, Bea, it's okay. I love you. I love you so much. This doesn't change that, okay? You don't feel comfortable teaching me that, then fine. That's fine. I never wanna make you uncomfortable." Bea turned and looked at him, before leaning in and kissing him hard. He shut his eyes, kissing her back. Gus had never expected to love someone again after his marriage failed, and yet here he was, proof positive that even when you reach the bottom, you're never cut off from redemption. They stayed on the couch the remainder of the night as he made Bea feel better, and he even cooked dinner for them. If her youth had been turbulent, he figured the least he could do was make her adulthood peaceful. *** Emma tapped her fingernails on her styrofoam coffee cup, then finally looked up and remembered where she was when she saw Shane smile at her across the table. He lifted his own cup to his lips and took a sip. "You okay?" he asked, "You seem kinda distant." "I'm wondering if I'm making all the wrong choices in regards to my relationship," Emma said, "A year ago, I would've said sure, I'd love nothing more than to be Darren's wife, but now...I asked him if he'd be okay and able to move on if we broke up, and he said he would be, and somehow that offended me. It shouldn't. I should be happy he's that capable. But..." She looked up, embarrassed as she lowered her voice. "...but you said you didn't wanna move on, and we've never even..." "There's a number of reasons I can't move on, and sure knowing you is a part of that," Shane said, "but I also can't get involved for a number of other reasons. But you love this guy, don't you? Doesn't he make you happy, in general? If you could picture it, could you see a future where you two are together and happy? If not, then that answers everything for you. So tell me, do you see that future?" Emma straightened up and thought long and hard momentarily, and she smiled weakly. "I can, actually, yes," she said. "I'm leaving town," Shane said, "Not forever, just for a few months. I have some stuff I have to take care of in a neighboring town. But I just thought I should let you know so that you aren't caught off guard by my sudden absence." "Thanks for telling me," Emma said, taking another sip of her coffee before clearing her throat and asking, "you know, seems like everyone I know came from fucked up families, and that's sad. You think there's families out there who don't experience shocking loss and painful cruelty at the hands of an uncaring god?" "Fuck dude, you didn't have to go that dark," Shane said, making her chuckle as he smiled and said, "but yeah, there have to be families with totally normal, happy people. I mean, the world works in some manner, right? Gotta have someone in charge of stuff to keep it all chugging along." "You gonna see your sister before you leave?" Emma asked, and Shane bit his lip, shrugging. "I might just leave her a note," he said, "I mean, I won't be gone long, so." Emma smiled and nodded, then drank her coffee while Shane drank his. She appreciated having him around to bounce her issues off of, and she was going to miss him while he was gone, but he'd be back before she knew it, so what really was there to worry about? They'd have coffee again. They'd discuss her upcoming marriage. How funny, she thought, that the person to become her close friend was the brother of the very woman who'd upended her life? Emma had nothing but pure appreciation for the Irres these days. *** "Once upon a time," Melanie said, kneeling behind the setup she and Amelia had created, "there was a kingdom." The story they wove was about a king, and his daughter. How he trained her to take over the kingdom once he was gone, and the dragon that eventually took his life, forcing her to take revenge. But, when given the chance to kill the dragon, instead she chose peace and understanding, and forgave it. The dragon, touched by this kindness, repaid the debt in any way it could by guarding the kingdom from any incoming invader, and in the end, it was love that saved the kingdom, because, as Melanie narrated, nothing was more powerful than love. After the show concluded, the citizens of the home who attended clapped and cheered for the girls and their storytelling abilities. When the lights came back on, and everyone began shuffling out as Melanie and Amelia cleaned things up, Melanie found she felt better than she had in years. She stopped putting things in the box and, seated on the floor, looked around the home. "...I'm gonna miss this place when I have to leave," she said, "to think this was the thing I was always afraid of, and now I can't believe I avoided it for so long because I genuinely thought I couldn't get better." Amelia set her box down and crawled across the floor, sitting in front of Melanie and looking around as well. "There is an odd comfort to it all, isn't there? Knowing you can come here, get your shit together, and leave with your life back on track," she said, "...promise you'll come and visit?" "You don't have to stay." "I can't manage it out there, not on my own." "Then leave with me," Melanie said, surprising Amelia, making her laugh nervously. "Excuse me?" she asked. "Yeah, we'll share an apartment," Melanie said, "My apartment is on hold for me, we can just move back in and you can be as involved or uninvolved with life as possible. I'm going to have to get a job, but if you're not capable of that, then so what. Everyone has usefulness, whether it's on constant show. You can give back simply by being there." "That's very nice of you and all, but..." Amelia said, her eyes looking at the floor, "...but I don't think-" "I like you," Melanie said. "Well, I like you too, that's why we-" "No. I like you," Melanie said sternly, "...this is something I've...I've only come to terms with in the last few months, but...but it's something I've avoided my whole life. I'm tired of avoiding it. I'm tired of being alone. I like you, and I wanna be with you. I'm sorry if that's forward, I just...I'm sick of not being true to myself and letting good things slip by." "I'm a good thing?" Amelia asked, blushing. "You're a very good thing," Mel said, leaning in, her voice lowering as she put her hand against Amelia's face and whispered, "come, rule my kingdom with me." Amelia leaned in and kissed Melanie, Melanie happily kissing her back. This. This was what Melanie had thought she might have with Lisa, but now she was having it for real. Honest, genuine understanding. Love, as she had said, was the most powerful thing there was. They sat there, in the empty living area, kissing for minutes on end, before the door opened and Melanie quickly spun her head around to see her mother standing there, smiling at them. Amelia stood up, excusing herself and taking their puppets and sets and whatnot back to her room. Melanie stood up and nervously approached her mother. "I'm sorry, I-" "Don't apologize," Karen said, "I watched your show, and then I had to use the bathroom. But please, never apologize for yourself. You know you're my daughter, and I love you for whoever you are and whoever you love, okay?" Melanie smiled and hugged her mother. "Besides, it's not all that surprising," Karen said, "Given..." Melanie pulled away and looked at her mother, confused. "Given what, mom?" she asked, and her mother sighed. "I came to see your show, like you called and asked me to do, but...I think it's time you knew about your father. Who he really was. I think that may finally give you some understanding, not just about him, but also yourself." Melanie didn't know how to respond. *** A knock, at this hour? Who the hell was knocking on the door? Bea groaned and rolled off the couch, while Gus continued to saw logs. She stood up, her eyes blurry, as she stumbled across the living room and pulled the front door open, only to find Chiako standing there, looking at the floor. "Oh," Bea said, yawning, "uh, god, what time is it? Why are you-" She looked up, and Bea understood. Her right side of her face was black and bruised. Bea felt like she'd just been hit by a car and immediately, instinctively hugged her, which made Chiako start to cry. "I need to see Gus," she cried, and Bea nodded, patting her back. "It's okay, you're okay, come inside," Bea said, "You're gonna be okay." She shut the door behind them, completely unaware that, from across the street sitting in his car, having followed Chiako there, Jeremy sat gritting his teeth, his fingers wrapping around the handgun sitting beside him.
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Royally Screwed follows 24 year old Melanie Irres, an average young woman...who legitimately believes she's a princess. Archives
July 2023
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