Gus heard the loud noise, jolting him awake, and he quickly felt around for his glasses, shoving them haphazardly on his face as he looked around the room in the darkness for anything that might've made the sound. He cautiously got out of bed, grabbed the baseball bat he kept beside his bed and slowly headed out into the hall of his apartment. It was still dark, but he could hear something rooting around in his kitchen. Gus swallowed nervously, his hands gripping the bat neck tighter as he continued further in, and when he finally reached the living room a light shot on and he was face to face with nobody other than Bea, both of them screaming as he dropped the bat.
"My god!" Bea said, one hand holding a bowl with some oatmeal in it and the other hand to her chest, "you scared the shit out of me, Gus!" "...you...you woke me up, and I...I thought..." Gus said, starting to hyperventilate. Bea set her oatmeal down on the coffee table and, taking Gus's arm, lead him over to the couch where they sat down side by side. Gus pushed his head against her chest and she softly stroked his hair; after a few moments, near tears, he whispered, "...i thought you were him." "He's dead," Bea said, "okay? I'm sorry, I just...I closed a cabinet harder than I meant to, that was all it was. I just got home from practice for the faire and it ran way late and then some people wanted to stay behind and gamble a little and, I'm...I'm sorry." Gus couldn't hold back, and he started to cry. "You need to talk to someone," Bea said, "like, a professional, not just me. Because this is getting worse every day. I don't think either of us ever really processed it when it happened, but now it's eating at you, and you need to do something about it before you lose it completely. You almost smashed my face in with a bat." Bea pulled away as Gus fell on his side on the couch, sobbing. He knew she was right. They hadn't processed what had happened with Jeremy that night in the apartment, the night of Shane's death, likely because they were far too wrapped up in helping Melanie grieve for her brother. But now...now she was out of the mental hospital, she was doing well, and now was the time they could help themselves. But he was scared to do that, because he didn't know what it entailed. Bea sighed and, picking her oatmeal back off the coffee table and eating a little bit, they sat there in the living room together, not saying a word. There was a sort of unspoken understanding between them at this point, she felt, that they shouldn't rely entirely on one another for everything, especially emotional support, and much as she loved him she also knew he needed to take care of himself. After a few minutes, Bea reached out and put her hand on his leg. "I'll go with you, if you're scared," she said, "We can go see Mel's therapist. I'm sure she's easy going." Gus didn't respond. He just buried his face further into the couch pillow, sobbing harder. He didn't want to admit something was wrong. He just wanted to go back to how things had been, before the attack, but he knew that wasn't possible. He knew she was right, and he had to do something. He just wasn't ready for the longest time to face that fact, and was scared he never would be. "It's okay," Bea whispered, patting his leg with her hand as she continued to eat oatmeal with the other hand wrapped around the spoon, "it'll be okay. Don't worry. Remember, you're with the Black Knight, nothing can hurt you." That, at least, got him to crack a brief smile. She always did know how to cheer him up. *** "What is the point of iced coffee?" Emma asked as she and Melanie sat in the small cafe attached to the library where Mel was doing her weekly readings; Emma turned the cup around in her hand, looking at it from all angles, "I mean, what is the point of making something intended to be hot cold? It's like hot chocolate ice cream. I don't think those people know what hot chocolate actually is if they're making ice cream of it." "You're way too peeved by very specific things," Mel said, making Emma chuckle. They heard a chair being pulled across the floor beside them and turned to see Laura, the woman who had approached Melanie last week, seating herself at the table with them. Emma did her best to ignore the intrusion, instead continuing to read her magazine. "Are you a wedding planner?" Laura asked politely, and Emma smiled, chuckling. "No, no, I'm getting married in a few months and I'm just making sure we have everything I wanted," Emma replied, "sometimes I look through these for inspiration, not necessarily for something specific." "That's so exciting," Laura said, "Congratulations!" "Thanks," Emma remarked, smiling politely as she sipped her coffee, "yeah, it's been a long time coming." Laura then turned her attention to Melanie, who was in the middle of eating a poppyseed muffin she'd bought in the same place they were right now, where Emma had gotten her coffee. Try as she might, Melanie simply couldn't shake an uneasy feeling that this woman put within her heart. Maybe it was because of what had happened with Lisa, but Mel had become increasingly paranoid of being approached by strange women. "I was just curious, and forgive me if this isn't the appropriate time or place to ask, but," Laura said, shifting nervously in her chair, clearing her throat, "...do you ever babysit?" That...certainly wasn't what either Emma or Melanie had expected to hear. "Um," Mel said, finishing a bit of muffin and swallowing, "uh...I...I never really have, no, but I wouldn't be against it, why?" "Because my daughter feels comfortable with you," Laura said, "and I have a lot of appointments I can't afford to miss and the last few babysitters we've had have been very...I won't say mean but...more like...non understanding of her and her issues. But you seem to be. You seem like a genuinely nice person, and I was just curious if you would ever be interested in doing that for us? You seem so good with children-" "Which is ironic sondering I'm the teacher," Emma mumbled, making Mel smirk. "-but," Laura continued, "my daughter seems to like being around you and she feels comfortable being around you and that comfort isn't something we've had a lot of luck finding in recent times with recent sitters. I completely understand if you say no, or...or is this is a totally bizarre request, I just...I need to know she's well taken care of when I'm not around, and lately I've been having to be not around more and more." After an awkwardly silent few minutes, Mel finally nodded, picking away at her muffin. "Yeah," she said softly, "Actually, I wouldn't mind. It could...it could be good. You're right, she's already got enough problems, she doesn't need a nasty adult on top of that, and I sure as hell am not mean, so. Yes, I wouldn't mind at all. If you guys are going to be around after storytime today, maybe come and talk to me again and we can exchange information and set things up?" "That would be super!" Laura said, sounding genuinely excited, "oh thank you so so much! She's going to be so happy!" Laura stood up and hugged Mel, surprising both her and Emma, before turning around and rushing off, presumably to tell her daughter. Mel readjusted herself in her chair and continued to eat her muffin as Emma sipped her coffee and shut her bridal magazine. "Okay we're just gonna ignore how fuckin' weird that was?" she asked. "I don't think it's weird at all, actually," Mel said, thinking about her father and smiling, "I like adults who only want the best for their children." *** "So," Leah said, jotting something down on her clipboard as she crossed her legs, "Mel talked to me extensively about that evening, but...you two were also involved, and I'm a little surprised it's taken you this long to reach out and discuss it. I'm happy you are though, and I hope I can help. What exactly is going on?" Bea and Gus were seated on the same couch together, but Gus was looking at his feet, unable to speak, so Bea sighed and did the talking. "Basically he's falling apart," she said, "and I am not saying this in the sense that I'm disappointed with him because of it, I'm saying it in the sense that I want to help him get better. He doesn't deserve to suffer like this, and I don't deserve to get hit in the face with a baseball bat." A quiet pause covered the room as Bea shifted on the couch and groaned. "Okay, that was worded badly, he hasn't done that, but he could. Just because of paranoia. He's not...he doesn't hit me, or, at least, not outside of when I want him to, and, and I'm just gonna stop talking now oh my god," Bea said, making Leah genuinely crack up, which put them all at ease. "A lot of times," Leah said after finally regaining her composure, "when people come through a traumatic experience, there are two roads to take, and sadly, more often than not, they choose the road of denial instead of acceptance. And it's understandable why that would be, because acceptance means facing it, and that's uncomfortable. I get why people do that. And sometimes that's the right choice in the moment, even. I'm willing to acknowledge that not everyone has the capacity to deal with things immediately after they happen. But this has been...what...half a year now? And you guys are still reeling. So yeah, coming to get help was the right choice to make now. But please don't feel bad for taking this long." "See, you did the right thing for yourself in the moment," Bea said softly, reaching over and rubbing Gus's back. He still hadn't said a single thing nor had he moved a muscle the entire time they were there; Bea looked back at Leah and asked, "so what can we do to ensure Gus comes through this PTSD as easily as possible?" "There's no easy way to-" Leah started but Gus interrupted them. However, he had spoken so lowly, that nobody had understood what he'd said, so Bea leaned in and asked him to repeat himself. Gus finally looked up at her, his face stained with tears, and he spoke again. "It wasn't about me," he said, "...I'm not scared for me. I'm scared for you." This admittance took Bea completely by surprise. She started to laugh nervously, only because when facing strange statements, that was her primary reaction. "You...you're scared for ME?" she asked, "I'm the one who knows how to fight, why would you be-" "Because it could've been you. He could've shot you," Gus said, wiping his face on his flannel shirt sleeve, sniffling, "he could've...he could've so easily...he even threatened to. I don't ever wanna see you hurt. I'm not scared for myself. I'm scared for you. I don't want you to get hurt or die. I want you in my life." Bea, honestly, couldn't believe what she was hearing. Gus had been emotional from time to time, he'd opened up about some pretty deep stuff, specifically in regards to his alcoholism and the spiral of his marriage, but this was something on an entirely different level and she didn't really know precisely how to react to it. After a few moments of awkward silence, she cleared her throat and put both hands on his back, turning to face him entirely now. "Gus, you never have to worry about me, okay? I'm fine. I'll always be fine. That's incredibly sweet of you, but trust me, I'm the one with more longevity between the two of us, so don't worry about me. I know you can't help but do it, but please, you wanna protect me? Then get through this trauma, process it and let's move on together, alright?" Bea whispered, one hand running up to his face, holding his cheek in her palm and smiling warmly at him as she added, "I love you, and I don't wanna see YOU in pain anymore, because you might unintentionally cause ME pain and frankly I'm too pretty for a broken nose." Gus laughed, making Bea feel a little better. He sat upright more and reached out, hugging her, pulling her against himself and petting her hair. This whole time, his fear hadn't been for his own safety, it had been because she was scared she might get hurt, and that surprised Bea more than anything else. He had a point too. Jeremy had intended to shoot her that night, had even outright threatened to do so, and Gus had instead put his own life on the line for her, which she was eternally grateful for, especially since he can't fight for shit and she could. Bea leaned closer, her lips against his ear, and whispered, "you're not strong because you defended me, you're strong because you're healing." Gus clung even tighter to her as these words left her lips. For the longest time, he always felt like he had to be the stronger one, and now...now he was happy to rest easy, knowing the Black Knight would always have his back. He was starting to see the appeal Melanie had once discussed in regards to having a kingdom at your disposal. *** "There's not a whole lot of rules," Laura said as she led Melanie through the house while she gathered her things before going out; she continued as they entered the hallway, "obviously she can't be up past 10pm, can't have dessert for dinner, the typical stuff, but otherwise there's not really much. Right now she's in her bedroom looking at some of this weeks storybooks, doing visual comprehension study." "What is that?" Mel asked as they stopped at the bathroom so Laura could check her makeup. "It's something they do for special needs children who have trouble following things," she said, "it's...it's kind of like...storyboarding for the brain, I guess. They read these picturebooks because they can't follow text to explain a scene, you know? Like, say or I read a book, we would be able to follow it and see it in our minds eye, but she can't do that, she has to SEE it, you know what I mean? So this helps her get better at that and maybe, one day, read a real book." Melanie nodded, smiling as Laura checked and reapplied her eyeliner. Melanie turned around and saw the photos hanging on the wall of the hallway. "Where's her father?" she asked, "sorry, maybe that's too personal, I just-" "No no, you're fine," Laura said, still reapplying, "um, there actually IS no father. I never got married, I just got pregnant. Always wanted a kid, never a husband, you know? A marriage is far too inconvenient to child rearing." Melanie genuinely laughed at this, which made Laura herself laugh a little. "Anyway, my parents have both passed away," she continued, "so I'm all Katie has. That's why finding preferred sitters is so important. If there's one thing I don't want her to ever feel it's uncomfortable, you know? She gets enough of that from day to day life that isn't designed for her." "You're a good mom," Melanie said, smiling as she looked at more photos. Photos of Laura and Katie on vacation at a theme park, birthdays, first days of school. But there was one photo that drew Melanie in more than the others, and that was the one of Katie sitting alone on a bench in a park somewhere, staring off at nothing while - presumably - her mother snapped the photo in question. "I do try my damndest," Laura said, "Okay, so I won't be too late, and she'll let you know when she needs something. She has certain cues for things like bathroom or hungry. Are you sure you won't be-" "I promise, I'll be fine," Melanie said, "please, just go and have a nice time. Or, as nice a time as one can have at an unavoidable appointment." With that, Melanie saw Laura out the door before looking back down the hall. She walked slowly down it and pushed the door to Katie's bedroom open, only to find her wrapped in a big quilt on her bed, looking at storybooks, exactly as her mother had said she was doing. Mel smiled and shut the door silently, dipping back out into the living room where she seated herself on the couch. She was glad she'd listened to Laura instead of shrugging her off, and she really meant what she'd said about her being a good mom. If there was anyone who knew a thing or two about having a good mom, it was Melanie, because her mother, Karen had been the best, especially in the face of adversity. *** Karen Irres was sitting on her couch, sipping some tea with the TV on mute as she waited for her antiques show to come back on. She sighed, blew on her tea and took another sip. After that she reached into the bowl of mixed nuts she'd placed beside her on the couch and grabbed a handful, eating them carefully. Finally, after what felt like an eternity, her antiques show came back on and Karen grabbed the remote, her thumb over the "mute" button, ready to press it just as the landline beside the couch rang. Karen groaned and, setting the remote back down, reached over and answered the phone, lifting the receiver to her face. "Hello?" she asked. "Is this Karen Irres?" a woman asked. "Yes, this is she, who's asking?" Karen asked, taking another long sip of tea, unprepared for the answer. "You don't know me, and I'm so sorry to do this this way, but...my name is Rebecca, and..." A pause as Becca took a deep breath and finally spoke again. "...I was married to your son, and we need to talk." Karen never did get to finish watching her show that night.
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Royally Screwed follows 24 year old Melanie Irres, an average young woman...who legitimately believes she's a princess. Archives
July 2023
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