Gus and Melanie were sitting in Gus's rental car, a birthday cake in Melanie's lap, her arms crossed and she was pouting like an angry child as he drove towards Darren's. Melanie opened the lid of the cake box and scoffed at it.
"What?" Gus asked, "What is your problem? It's a nice looking cake." "She doesn't deserve cake, she deserves a bowl of broken glass," Melanie said, "And then the glass turns into bears and eat her from the inside out." "Look, when we get there, you need to be on your best behavior," Gus said, "This is her birthday, okay? How would you feel if someone ruined your birthday?" "I don't celebrate my birthday anymore," Melanie said sternly, "So it doesn't really matter does it." Birthdays were somewhat of a sore spot for Melanie, not that she ever really talked about it or acknowledged reality outside a few brief bursts. She shifted uncomfortably in her seat and leaned her head against the passenger side window, hearing the tiara on her head clink against the glass. She reached up, pulled it off and put it in her lap, then continued moping. Gus glanced over occasionally as he drove, wanting to say something to her, but unsure what. He could tell she felt bad, but he never really understood why. "Well, we have to be nice if we want this girl to like us, so keep that in mind," Gus finally said. "I want to jab her violently in the face with something sharp and pointy," Melanie replied. "Nobody ever made friends with anyone by jabbing others in the face." "Gus, if something happens to me in there, I want you to tell the kids I love them," Melanie said, and Gus looked at her, his brow raised. "You don't have kids," he replied. "Not my kids, the kids at the school." "You want me, a man they don't know, to tell children that a woman they barely know, that she loves them? I could get arrested for that," Gus said. "And do it shirtless," Melanie said, starting to chuckle. *** Emma was sitting in her living room, toying with the new keyboard Darren had gotten her for her birthday. He'd woken her up early, made her breakfast - not that that was an unusual occurrence, he did that a lot - and then covered her eyes as he led her to the living room where he then unveiled to her a brand new, and fairly expensive, keyboard. Emma loved it. Her old keyboard was broken in a million different ways, rendering it virtually unusable at this point, so he figured this was something she'd really appreciate. Darren was now back in the kitchen, cooking again so the guests would have snacks when they arrived, and he could hear her playing on it. He smiled to himself. Emma had always wanted to be a musician, she'd roadied for bands back in the day, and she'd played instruments in school, but she eventually went into education instead, finding it to be a better use of her time. Still, she played a lot at home, and lately she'd been grumbling about wanting to do something more with her musical skills, maybe release a record online or something. Darren was nothing if not supportive of her creative interests, so he figured the least he could do was get her the equipment necessary to create such a thing. Emma came into the kitchen and poured herself some coffee, then leaned against the island counter watching Darren chop some cheese. "It sounds good," he said. "Yeah, it's...it's high end, I'm...I feel kind of bad, I...I make more money than you do and yet you bought me this really fancy thing," Emma said. "Eh, our money is pooled, so it doesn't matter. Besides, you're worth it," he replied, leaning over the island, touching her chin and kissing her. As the kiss ended, she blushed and sipped on her coffee some more, looking back towards the living room. "I'd be lying if I didn't say I was afraid though. I've always wanted to make music professionally, but now that I have the chance I'm...I don't know, I'm kind of questioning my abilities," Emma said, "And I know what you're gonna say, so you can just skip the whole 'but you're so talented' spiel, cause I know I am, I won't deny it, but I'm not worried that I'm not talented but more worried whether that that talent won't find the audience I want it to, or that the audience simply doesn't exist." "I think these are all valid fears for an artist of one manner or another to experience," Darren said, handing her a small cutting of cheese and then eating one himself, "But, you know, you just do it anyway, cause it's what you do. If you make things, you make it for you, because it has to be made, and if it enriches the lives of anyone else? Hell, that's just a bonus." Emma smirked and hugged him as they heard a knock at the front door. The hug broke and Emma went to answer, leaving Darren to his cooking duties. When she opened the door, Gus and Melanie were standing there. "Hey!" Emma said, "Come on in, you guys are the first ones here." The two entered the house and Gus handed her the cake. She took it, smiling politely, and walked it back to the kitchen, leaving them to explore momentarily. Gus walked towards a bookshelf and admired the titles on it while Melanie approached a small glass box towards one corner of the room. "Oh my GOD," Melanie said, "She is a witch! She's turned this poor person into a frog!" "Melanie, that's just a frog," Gus said, pointing at the label on the tank, "See? His name is Pooka." "Does anyone want wine?" Emma asked, entering again, holding a few glasses and a bottle. "God yes please," Gus muttered, taking a glass from her and waiting as she uncorked the wine and began pouring; his eyes spotted the keyboard, "Wow, nice piece of tech." "Darren gave me that this morning," Emma responded, smiling happily. "You play music?" he asked, sipping his wine and approaching the keyboard for a better look. "Only as a hobby at the moment. I think everyone should have a hobby to escape their work life," Emma said. "Oh I know your hobby," Melanie mumbled to herself, "turning children into goblins and...and....sucking blood out of people and turning into a bat...no, that's a Vampire, what do witches do?" "Hey," Darren said, entering the room, nodding at Mel, making her brighten up a bit before turning his attention to Emma, "Your dad just got here." Melanie's blood ran cold. Emma excused herself again, and as she and Darren exited the room back to the kitchen to let her father in through the side door, Gus's cell phone beeped. He sighed and pulled it out of his pocket, unlocking it and looking at the screen before gritting his teeth. Melanie stood up and approached him as he furiously typed back on the phone, muttering under his breath. "We had a goddamned arrangement, this is unacceptable," he said. "What's going on?" Melanie asked. "I think I have to go," Gus replied, turning back to her. "No, don't leave me here," Melanie said, "Please. Her dad just got here, I don't wanna be left alone, I barely know these people. You're my only source of protection." "I'm really sorry Mel, but I have something I have to attend to, it's urgent," Gus said, finishing his wine in one fell swig and then hugging her before heading back out the front door. Just as he exited, Emma and an older man in a suit entered from the kitchen. "Melanie, this is my father, Patrick," she said, as he held out his hand. Melanie glanced at the hand and then at Emma and then back at the hand. A million different possibilities of how to handle this went through her head, and she eventually settled with the simplest one. Run away. So, Melanie turned and headed down the hall, towards the bathroom, where she locked herself inside. Patrick looked at Emma, who merely shrugged. Emma then excused herself and headed to the bathroom. She knocked lightly on the door. "Melanie?" she asked softly, "Are you alright? Can I come in?" No response. "Melanie, you have to let me in, this is my bathroom," she said, slightly laughing, "Come on, open the door. We'll talk." After a few moments of silence, the lock on the door clicked, and Emma gently pushed it open with her fingertips, entering the bathroom cautiously. She find Melanie sitting on the side of the tub, looking at her tiara, tears rolling down her face. Emma sat down beside her and exhaled, wondering just what to say. But, before she could get a word out, Melanie spoke, her voice cracking, sounding tired and worn down. "I'm sorry, this is your birthday and I'm ruining it," she said, "I just...I wasn't expecting your father to be here. I don't know why I didn't expect your father to be here. It is your birthday after all, it only makes sense to have your family, your loved ones, around you on a celebratory day of life." "Melanie, I've been seeing a woman for a few months now, her name is Leah Anderson. She's a therapist," Emma said, "Perhaps you should talk to her. I think whatever it is that you're dealing with, she could help you much more than I could. I'm your friend, or I'm trying to be, but I'm not a therapist." Melanie nodded and put her tiara back on her head, then looked at Emma, who took her hand and smiled before leaning in to hug her and rub her back. "It'll be okay," Emma said softly. "Yeah, now kiss her," Darren said, standing in the doorway, watching. The two of them glared at him, and he quickly exited. *** Back at her apartment that evening, Melanie was sitting on her bed, just looking at photos. She rarely looked at these anymore, as all they did was bringing her reality rushing back into her fantasy, and making her extremely uncomfortable. As she flipped through the pages of her photo album, she heard a knock on her bedroom door, and Gus entered, having apparently let himself into her apartment. She looked at him and smiled weakly as he took a seat on the bed. "Sorry about rushing off like that earlier," Gus said, "I really did have an emergency." "It's okay, things went better than expected," Melanie replied, "Did I ever tell you about my 6th birthday party? It was wonderful, we had a bounce castle and a fake dragon to slay and my father even hired a jester to tell jokes and entertain us. It was my official royal coronation, and I was so happy. Everyone liked my dress, and my tiara..." Melanie slowly reached up and removed the tiara on her head, holding it out in front of them. "...that was this tiara," she continued, her voice sounding weaker, "...this is the same tiara they got me for my birthday. It's made of real gems and metal. It's not just a cheap toy tiara. I was a real princess, daddy's little princess, and this was his gift to me, this tiara. He gave it to me the night before my birthday so I could make sure to really be the daughter of royalty the following day." Gus smiled weakly, "That's a really nice story, Mel." "But my birthday didn't go so well, and now I don't celebrate it anymore, and I no longer speak to the king or queen, or even my brother the prince. Life is better for them without me, much as I'd like to return to the kingdom, take my rightful place on the throne, I know it's better if I don't." "Maybe instead you can make a kingdom of your own," Gus said, holding her hand as she laid on her side and shut her eyes. "Maybe," she said, yawning, "One day." Gus sat and watched her breath, falling easily into sleep. When he thought she was done, he pulled the photo albums off the bed and pulled a blanket up over her, then patted her head and set her tiara gently on the bedside table. He smiled at her, and knew that, even for as weird as she was, she really was in need of a friend, and that friendship was now his duty whether he wanted it to be or not. Thankfully, he did. He needed a friend too. Gus turned to leave when he heard her murmur, and he stopped in the doorway, looking back at the bed. "Don't leave me," she said, and he nodded, coming and sitting back down with her on the bed, rubbing her back. "Goodnight your highness," he said softly.
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Royally Screwed follows 24 year old Melanie Irres, an average young woman...who legitimately believes she's a princess. Archives
July 2023
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