It had been a month since Michelle and Beatrice had undergone surgery together.
While Beatrice had her own apartment to stay in, and had Leslie to care for her, Michelle didn't want to burden Keagan and Lexi any further than she already felt like she had, and so when Delores insisted Michelle stay with her from now on, she couldn't refuse. They made up her guest bedroom as Michelle's bedroom, and Delores took a brief leave of absence from her job in order to help Michelle regain her strength. The surgery had gone as well as anyone could've hoped, and both women came through just fine. For a while in the first two weeks, Eliza would bring small puzzles she and Michelle could do together, simply so she would have company. Liam stopped by Bea's now and then - either to give her news about the office or in regards to the show - and of course to visit her. Sitting on the bed with her while she clipped coupons, Liam couldn't help but chuckle. "What?" Bea asked, looking up from cutting. "This reminds me of living back in the city," Liam said, "you know, when we first met, first started working together. We used to have to do this kind of thing all the time cause we were so poor." "I still do it just cause it's calming," Bea said, "even if I don't intend to use the coupons, it's nice to clip them. Keeps me humble." Liam laughed as he cut another one out and placed it on the stack on the bed. He then set his scissors down and looked at Bea, who smiled at him. She was appreciative of having him here when Leslie was at work. It was a nice month for both women, and each was somewhat saddened when their relaxation time eventually came to an end. But for Michelle, living with Delores was like a dream come true. Delores made dinner every night - and when she didn't she simply ordered in - and treated Michelle like her own daughter, something Michelle's own mother had never done. In a way, she was getting the childhood she'd never had, and it healed her a little more. All in all, things were pretty good, and the future had never looked brighter. *** "When do you think you'll be ready to come back to work?" Beatrice asked. Bea had come and picked Michelle up and taken her to lunch. Sitting at a table in the corner of the outdoor patio, each one eating their lunch, it was the first time either had seen the other since the surgery. It was nice. It felt like old times, like all the problems Michelle used to have had never existed. But she also knew she was lucky, and there were plenty of people who never got the funds, nor the donors necessary to survive such a situation. "I don't know," Michelle said, picking lettuce from her teeth, "probably soon. Nothing against Eliza, but I'm getting a little tired of doing puzzles nonstop." Bea chuckled as she bit into her sandwich and chewed. Michelle picked up her drink and sipped from her straw, then pushed her hair from her face and looked at Bea. "Can I ask you a question?" Michelle asked. "Only always, love," Bea replied. "...uh...I don't really know how to ask this without sounding like a confused teenager, but..." Michelle started, "um...how do you know if you have feelings for someone? I never...I guess...I've never really felt anything for anyone, cause I've always been..." Beatrice put her sandwich down and listened as Michelle pulled her hair up into a ponytail and sighed. "Okay, so, when you have something that can kill you, I guess you don't make long term plans, you know? Cause why would you bother? You never even know if you'll BE here next year, right? So I never really pursued a relationship of any kind because, well, I just never figured it was worth the pain," Michelle said, "so I don't really know how it feels to care about someone in that way, or even if they feel that way for you, or how to approach it if you both do or anything." Bea chuckled and sat back in her chair, sipping her iced tea, stirring the cubes in her glass. "Well," Beatrice said, "I guess, if you feel something for them, you recognize they're feelings you've never had before. If it's something you've never felt, then it's likely something new. Something real. Is there someone you're feeling this way for in particular?" Michelle fidgeted, but after a moment she shook her head. "No," she said quietly, "just curious." *** "I tell you, a little charity in this industry goes a long way," Stephanie said, sitting behind her desk at the office as Liam sat in front of her; Steph continued, saying, "like, that whole kerfuffle about her sexuality? Gone in the blink of an eye because she helped save her friend. You can't buy press that good." "Yes you can," Liam said. "Okay, well, not easily," Stephanie said, "honestly, I'm proud of her. She didn't do what she did to look good, she did it out of the kindness of her heart. That level of wholesomeness in show business is rarely seen. Beatrice is truly a genuinely good person." Liam sighed and leaned forward, cupping his hands. "Uh oh, that's never a good position," Steph said, smirking. "We need to renegotiate," Liam said. "I don't know what else Beatrice could be given, I mean, she has-" "No, not for Bea. For Michelle," Liam said, sighing and running his hands over his face before adding, "we need to give her more. A lot more. Beatrice is right. If Michelle, and Keagan as well, hadn't gotten together and tracked her down, tracked me down...none of us would be here right. We're sitting on a success story because of two women who barely get any acknowledgement for their part in said success story. That just doesn't sit well with me. I want them made Executive Producers, and given more money." Stephanie was surprised to hear Liam state his demands so sternly, as he'd always sounded rather flexible. Yet, he did have a point. Those girls were single handedly responsible for bringing Beatrice and the crew out of hiding and back into the spotlight in a way they never thought they'd see. "Well," Steph said, "let's bring them both in soon, when Michelle's up to it, and see what they have to say. I'm not against it. But I'd like to hear if they have any other kind of demands or whatever. Nice of you to go to bat for them." "I've been going to bat for creative women my whole life it seems like," Liam said, leaning back and crossing his legs, "god knows what I'd do if I stopped. I might have to find a new hobby." Stephanie laughed and nodded. Beatrice had always insisted Liam was integral, and now Stephanie understood what Beatrice had meant when she'd said that. *** Eliza was sitting in The Hole, at her work desk, doing draft work when she heard the door open behind her. Expecting their craft services girl to be bringing her lunch, she waved at them over her shoulder but didn't turn to look, so she was a bit surprised when she instead saw Michelle standing there, leaning on her cane. Eliza pulled her glasses up, completely taken aback to see her here. Michelle smiled and looked down at the table. "What are you doing?" Michelle asked. "Uh, oh, just...um...some drawings for potential new puppets for next year," Eliza said, "you know, for when we start shooting again. I figure, ya know, that the sooner I do my part, then the easier it'll make production once it starts up again." "Sound thinking," Michelle said. "I'm not used to seeing you without your canula," Eliza said, pointing at her own nose, "I...I got so used to seeing a oxygen mask or a tank or something around you, that it's actually kinda weird not to now." "Well, I guess I could just carry one around as an accessory," Michelle replied, the both of them giggling; she tossed her ponytail and knelt down by Eliza's chair, looking at her warmly as she asked, "...thank you for being there. Both in the hospital, and when I was in recovery. I really needed someone, and you were there. I know that I wouldn't be here without Beatrice's donation, or Lexi's money, but I don't think you got the credit you deserved, and I wanted you to know just how much I appreciated that." Eliza chewed on her lip, and nodded slowly. "You're such a warm and loving person, and I really don't know how I would've gotten through it all emotionally if I hadn't had your support, so thank you," Michelle said. "Well, I...I wasn't about to lose someone else," Eliza said, stuttering a bit, "when I lost my mom, I felt so bad and I've never really stopped feeling bad, so I...I wanted to make sure that didn't happen again. God that sounds selfish, that's...that's not really how I meant it." "I know," Michelle said, laughing, "I know it isn't, but I understand. I just came by to see people on set and stuff, so I should get going, but we should hang out later or sometime this week or whatever." Michelle stood back up and patted Eliza on the shoulder before turning and heading back towards the door to The Hole. Suddenly she heard a chair scoot across the floor and heard Eliza shouting after her. "Don't go," she said loudly. Michelle stopped and turned, looking back at her. Eliza was standing now, shaking like she was nervous, tugging at her long braid anxiously. Neither one spoke again as they stared at one another. Michelle wasn't sure why Eliza had stopped her, but she was curious to see if Eliza said anything else, so she waited. "I...I don't want you to go," Eliza said, "um...because I've never met someone who wanted to be...who was nice like this...who...I liked visiting you. You never make fun of me. You never question or judge me. We just can do puzzles together, and you like my trains, and I...I have felt so stupid for so much of my life, and yet...when...when you're...when you're with me I feel smart, and I feel like...like what I say and think matters and means something and...you make me...you make me feel...good. Just...genuinely good. I feel like I lost my place in the world when my mother died, and when I'm with you, it's like I suddenly have a place again." Michelle stared at Eliza, unsure of how to respond. She chewed on her lip and waited to see if she would continue. Eliza stuttered, as if trying to form another sentence, but was unable to. She finally, tugging hard on her braid, looked at her shoes and whispered. "You make the world make sense," she said, "and to someone like me, to whom nothing makes sense...that means the most." Michelle smiled, and let go of the doorknob. The door to The Hole swung shut again as she started to walk back towards Eliza, who stumbled backwards, leaning against her drafting desk. Michelle leaned against her, their faces mere inches apart. Eliza could feel Michelle's breath on her skin, and then felt her hand run up on her neck. Michelle held Eliza's face in her hand and shut her eyes. What could she say? She'd never felt like this before. She'd never once felt anything for anyone, because she'd never allowed herself to. What words could she find to respond? Eliza had found the words, so surely she could as well? "Are you gonna kiss me?" Eliza finally asked, her voice a quaky feminine whisper. "I'd like to," Michelle responded, breathing heavily, nervous. "I'd like you to," Eliza replied, making Michelle blush. Michelle, as it turned out, didn't need to find the words. Instead she pushed her lips against Eliza's and kissed her in a way she'd never kissed anyone before. She kissed her with a level of adoration she'd never felt, and while kissing her, she realized what she'd let herself miss this whole time. She'd denied herself the option to love because she was afraid she wouldn't live long enough to appreciate it, or she would hurt someone by dying, but now she realized that simply loving was worth it regardless of the circumstances. Eliza leaned back on her drafting desk, Michelle putting her knee up on one side of it, almost mounting her, kissing her. After she finally pulled away, neither Eliza nor Michelle could speak. They stayed that way, breathless, wordless, for what felt like an hour. Finally Eliza smiled and hugged her, crying. Michelle hugged her back, squeezing tightly. Michelle got pleasure from her work, no doubt. But the best thing the show had ever given her was Eliza, and she refused to ever let that go now. *** Beatrice had the place to herself for a change. Leslie was at work, Liam was busy negotiating contracts for the new set of episodes to be produced, and so for the first time in weeks, Beatrice was alone. She'd need to have her therapy at some point - both physical and mental - but for the moment, she just embraced being alone in her apartment again. She figured, since she had the time and, for once, the energy, she would go through her closet and clear some things out. Beatrice pulled some boxes down, as she did, an envelope slid off the top of it and landed at her feet. Beatrice furrowed her brow, confused at what it could be. She set the boxes down and then sat on them, grabbing the large envelope. As she unlatched and slid its contents out, it dawned on her what she had come across, and she immediately put them back in. These were papers she didn't want to see. These were papers she wanted to forget about. Beatrice sighed and wiped at her teary eyes with her sweater sleeve. She never wanted to revisit that day if she could help it. It had been - aside from Beatrice's death - the single hardest day of her life. Hell, even thinking about it made her want to break down. She didn't need to dwell on it. She had people now. She had friends and family, and young women to look out for. She didn't need to drag herself back into her past and revisit something she never had any chance to change as it is. She looked at the envelope again and chewed her nails. Then, she stood up, walked to a small jar on a tiny table by the couch and pulled out a sharpie. She went back, sat back down and picked the envelope back up, placing it in her lap. She pulled the cap off the sharpie with her teeth and started writing on the envelopes face. "Claire B-G." When she was done, she looked at it, and nodded. That was all she had to write, really. The name alone would indicate to her what the envelope meant, and to never touch it again. She tucked the envelope back into the closet, back into the darkness, hiding it from herself once more. She just hoped, more than anything, that Claire would forgive her if she knew. She hadn't been able to take care of someone then, but she was able to save Michelle now, and she figured that more than made up for her regrets. Beatrice then shut the closet door.
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Michelle was lying in a hospital bed, where it seemed she spent a majority of her time these days, when she heard the door to the room open and saw Eliza slink in. Michelle put her magazine down and smiled as Eliza quietly shut the door behind her and approached the bed. Eliza pulled a chair up to the bed and sat down, as Michelle put her magazine face down, but still open, on her lap.
"I brought you breakfast," Eliza said, handing Michelle a styrofoam cup and a then, after opening up a small, brown bag, she pulled out a few breakfast sandwiches and handed her one. Michelle unwrapped it and immediately began chowing down ferociously; Eliza giggled and said, "wow, I didn't know you were that hungry." "You know that bit comedians do about airline food?" Michelle asked, mouth half full of breakfast sandwich, "...hospital food is somehow worse." "Maybe the quality of food is directly proportional to where you're consuming it," Eliza said, shrugging. "I doubt that," Michelle said, "if that were true, 'home cooking' would be good regardless of how terrible your home life is." Just then the door opened again, and this time Delores entered. She smiled at the girls as she shut the door behind her and approached the bed. "Hello Eliza," Delores said, patting her on the shoulder as she stood beside the bed, "I see you brought food." "She's my hero," Michelle said, mouth half full of sandwich, "someone give her a medal." "The doctor is on their way in, so you should probably finish that as quick as possible," Delores said, "they probably won't like seeing you eat that sort of thing in a place designated for protecting your health. Be like eating a giant cookie in front of a dentist." "I don't care," Michelle said, taking a sip from her cup, "I'm just happy to eat anything that doesn't make me feel any sicker than I already do. Eliza, you're the best." Eliza looked downwards, hiding her blushing cheeks, not wanting to be embarrassed. Anytime Michelle complimented her, she couldn't help but feel like a giddy child. Regardless of whether she ever felt the same way for her as Eliza felt for Michelle, she didn't care. She was just pleased enough making Michelle feel even the slightest bit better at the lowest time of her life. *** Meanwhile, in the hallway across the hospital, Beatrice was on her way towards Michelle's room. She hadn't meant to take the long way around, but she'd accidentally parked on the wrong side of the hospital, and now she needed to walk through the entire hospital to reach her. Bea checked her watch and sighed, shaking her head. She'd only been up for an hour, and had thrown on whatever she could find easily around the bedroom. She hadn't even brushed her hair, for god sakes, and she was still expected at the studio at some point today after this. As she walked past a room, she heard the sound of her own voice on, and stopped. Bea backed up and peered into the room, seeing the Beatrice Beagle show playing on the television bolted into the corner of the ceiling; her eyes then wandered from the TV to the little girl lying in the bed, hugging the Beatrice Beagle doll. Bea smiled and entered the room, standing by the bed and watching the show with the girl. The girl, Ashley Harding, looked up to Bea and waved, making Bea wave back. "You like Beatrice?" Bea asked, and Ashley nodded; Bea smirked, adding, "so do I. She's smart and she's brave. She's the best dog." "She makes me feel safe," Ashley said quietly, "whenever I'm here, I always have her on the TV, or have my doll, and she makes me feel safe. I'm not as scared when I have her." "Dogs are good like that," Bea said, "they're always here to help us through the worst times, so long as we give them love back. I think it's good that you have something like that. I'm glad she makes you feel safe, especially in such a scary place during such a scary time." Ashley squeezed the doll to her chest, and Bea had to keep herself from openly crying. Instead she patted Ashley on the top of the head and smiled warmly. "I'm sure Beatrice will be happy to see you get through this," she said, "you just stay brave, okay?" Ashley nodded, and Bea nodded back at her before turning and exiting the room. Once back in the hallway, she leaned against the wall and started crying silently. Michelle was right. Beatrice belonged to everyone now, and she could no longer pretend this wasn't the case. The dog was for the world. Bea turned and put her back against the wall, covering her face with her hands and wiping her face free of tears. When she pulled her eyes away, she noticed Lexi and Keagan standing there. "Oh," Bea said, quickly wiping her face on her sweater sleeve, "god, I'm...I'm sorry. Hi girls." "Are you okay?" Keagan asked. "As okay as one can be expected, given the circumstances," Bea replied, "what's going on?" Keagan and Lexi exchanged a look and then Lexi sighed, approaching Bea. "...I think I know what we can do to save her," Lexi said. "...I'm listening," Bea said softly. *** "I hope this doesn't qualify as a last meal," Michelle said, leaning back on her pillows as Delores adjusted them for her; she continued, "I mean, I could have worse, but I sure hope I get to have more meals. Still, even if it was, at least I went out on a high note." Delores finished fixing the pillows, then excused herself to use the bathroom. Eliza looked down at her shoes and grimaced. Michelle reached over and touched her knee, causing Eliza to tense up and look away more. "Are you okay?" Michelle asked. "...I didn't...when my mom died, I didn't get to say anything to her," Eliza said, "and I always regretted that it happened so quickly because, ya know...there was no goodbye of any kind. In fact, the last thing we did was kinda argue. She probably died thinking I was mad at her. You never know when the last time you might talk to someone might be, and if that's the case, isn't it good to tell them something before you don't get the chance to?" Eliza looked up at Michelle, who's head cocked to the side, curious, smiling at her. Eliza felt warm inside, like the sun was shining inside her. Eliza started to feel nervous, and began pulling some of her hair down to her mouth, chewing on it out of habit. "You're my best friend, whatever it is you can talk to me about it, you know I won't judge you," Michelle said, and Eliza nodded slowly, cautiously, as if the mere act of nodding would somehow give away the secrets threatening to spill free from her lips like waves over an ocean breaker. "...I think...um...I think I-" she began, when the door opened again, and Beatrice, Lexi and Keagan entered, interrupting. "Michelle," Bea said, hurriedly approaching the bed and hugging her, "sweetheart, I can't believe I'm about to say this to you, but...everything's gonna be okay. You're gonna be okay. Lexi has a plan." Lexi seated herself on the bed, and took one of Michelle's hand in her own. "As you know, I recently got a lot of money from my fathers business," she said, "and, uh...for a bit I thought I'd be selfish, and use it to make my life better. Got a new car, wanted to get a new apartment, that sort of stuff. Still plan to do some of that, but that's beside the point, hah. But then you got sick, and I realized that the best thing I can do is help you instead. So...along with insurance from the company, I'm going to help cover the costs of a transplant surgery." "A transplant? I don't even know anyone who would-" "I'm going to," Beatrice whispered, kissing Michelle's hand, crying again but smiling, "I'm going to donate to you. We have the same blood type. I'm a bit older than you, obviously, but that's really the only hangup. Michelle, you gave my life back to me, so now I'm going to give your life back to you, okay? It's the least I could do for you dragging me out of that hole I called an existence in exile." Michelle wanted to break down. Never once in her entire life had she experienced, nor expected, this level of generosity, especially not from someone she'd only known for almost two years. Beatrice was going to donate a lung to her? This seemed...insane. But, as Michelle had learned, sometimes insanity was all that worked. Eliza, likewise, couldn't believe her ears. Her jaw was full on dropped. "Now we do have to run some tests first, obviously," Bea said, "and you can't eat or drink anything the day before, but it should be capable of being done in the next few days. We have the money, I'm a willing donor, there's no reason we can't expedite this process posthaste." "...Beatrice," Michelle whispered, reaching up and hugging her, before turning and squeezing Lexi, whispering in her ear, "thank you so much. I'll find a way to repay you." Lexi patted Michelle on the back. "Just repay me by getting better," Lexi whispered back. Michelle couldn't believe her luck. But what Bea had said to Ashley was true, and she knew it. A dog was there to help, protect and save, and that's exactly what she intended to do for Michelle, come hell or high water. *** Liam entered Leslie's office, knocking on the door as he waltzed in. Leslie looked up, slightly irritated as she dropped her pen on the table and leaned back in her chair, folding her arms. "What is the point of knocking if you're already entering?" she asked. "To give the illusion of respect?" Liam asked, shrugging, making Leslie laugh. "What do you want anyway?" she asked, picking her pen back up and going back to writing. "Uh," Liam started, scratching the back of his head, "...I just got off the phone with Beatrice, she's at the hospital with Michelle and, well, basically everyone else. Um...I hate to be the one to tell you this, but...your girlfriend's gonna donate an organ." Leslie stopped writing, then slowly looked up. "She's WHAT?" she asked. *** Leslie and Beatrice were standing in the living room of Leslie's apartment; Leslie was pacing back and forth furiously, flabbergasted at this admittance, while Beatrice was standing calmly by the couch, trying to easily explain her reasoning, and how there's no danger involved. "First of all, I have to find this out from Liam-" "Can I help it if he's a blabbermouth?" Beatrice asked, "I would've told you when we got home." "-but then there's the fact that this is dangerous for you, and I...what if something goes wrong? What if she doesn't wake up, or you don't wake up, or something happens and both of you...it's too much to think about," Leslie said, putting her hand to her forehead and groaning, adding, "It's a noble, beautiful thing you're doing, but I can't...what if I lose you?" "I'm sorry," Bea said, "but I can't just let her die. She doesn't have any family willing to donate, she doesn't have long enough to wait on a list. I can fix this, right here, right now. I can't just sit idly by and let her die because of fear. Everything I have right now, I owe to her and Keagan's adoration for what I built years ago. Including you. If they hadn't brought me out of retirement, I wouldn't...we wouldn't have..." Bea sat down on the couch and covered her face, sighing. Leslie walked to the couch and sat beside her, putting her hands on Bea's knees. "...I'm not going to stop you, obviously," Leslie said softly, "I'd never even think of asking you not to do it, that's just selfish. I just wish we could've discussed it more first or something. I wanna make sure you're going to be safe, and that you'll come through okay. You're older than she is. This could really put you out of commission for a bit." "And if I don't, it could put Michelle out of commission forever," Bea whispered, reaching up and touching Leslie's face; she smiled warmly and kissed her on the nose, resting her forehead on Leslie's before saying, "trust me, nothing bad will happen. We will come through this better off in the end for it. But I need to save her. I have to." This need to save something she loved was something Leslie would never understand, and something Michelle would understand all too well. Beatrice laced her fingers through Leslie's and smiled, shutting her eyes. "Everything will be okay," she whispered, "I promise. And you know me, I never break a promise." This was true, Leslie couldn't deny. As of now, she had yet to break a promise. *** Michelle was lying in her hospital bed as Eliza pulled her jacket on and stood up, preparing to leave. She stopped and looked at Michelle, who looked away from the muted television at her and smiled. Eliza sighed and rubbed her eyes furiously, as if she was anxious. "You were gonna say something earlier, before everyone barged in," Michelle said, "if you wanna finish that thought now you can." "...it's okay," Eliza said, "I'll come by tomorrow morning, okay?" Michelle nodded, and Eliza turned, heading for the door. Her hand grabbed the knob, then she heard Michelle's voice, weak and gentle. "you don't have to go," she said softly. This made Eliza stop in her tracks and turn back towards the hospital bed. "i mean...it'd be nice to have company," Michelle said, "i...i don't know when the visiting hours end, i guess, but..." Eliza smiled and walked back to the bed, taking her hand. "If you want me to stay, I'll stay," she said, "all you had to do was ask." So Eliza stayed. And when Michelle fell asleep from the medication, Eliza watched over her until a nurse told her she couldn't stay any longer. Eliza felt like she could finally breath a sigh of relief once more. Michelle would have surgery and she would be alright. She wasn't going to lose anybody. For once in her life, it seemed, everything was actually going to work out. Sometimes it's nice to win. |
About
Beatrice Beagle follows a young woman obsessed with a defunct pizzeria and kids show featuring a dog mascot. As she uncovers more about its mysterious past, she becomes sucked into the life of the woman who played the mascot, they both discover just how much they need eachother. Archives
April 2024
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