It had been a month since Michelle and Beatrice had undergone surgery together.
While Beatrice had her own apartment to stay in, and had Leslie to care for her, Michelle didn't want to burden Keagan and Lexi any further than she already felt like she had, and so when Delores insisted Michelle stay with her from now on, she couldn't refuse. They made up her guest bedroom as Michelle's bedroom, and Delores took a brief leave of absence from her job in order to help Michelle regain her strength. The surgery had gone as well as anyone could've hoped, and both women came through just fine. For a while in the first two weeks, Eliza would bring small puzzles she and Michelle could do together, simply so she would have company. Liam stopped by Bea's now and then - either to give her news about the office or in regards to the show - and of course to visit her. Sitting on the bed with her while she clipped coupons, Liam couldn't help but chuckle. "What?" Bea asked, looking up from cutting. "This reminds me of living back in the city," Liam said, "you know, when we first met, first started working together. We used to have to do this kind of thing all the time cause we were so poor." "I still do it just cause it's calming," Bea said, "even if I don't intend to use the coupons, it's nice to clip them. Keeps me humble." Liam laughed as he cut another one out and placed it on the stack on the bed. He then set his scissors down and looked at Bea, who smiled at him. She was appreciative of having him here when Leslie was at work. It was a nice month for both women, and each was somewhat saddened when their relaxation time eventually came to an end. But for Michelle, living with Delores was like a dream come true. Delores made dinner every night - and when she didn't she simply ordered in - and treated Michelle like her own daughter, something Michelle's own mother had never done. In a way, she was getting the childhood she'd never had, and it healed her a little more. All in all, things were pretty good, and the future had never looked brighter. *** "When do you think you'll be ready to come back to work?" Beatrice asked. Bea had come and picked Michelle up and taken her to lunch. Sitting at a table in the corner of the outdoor patio, each one eating their lunch, it was the first time either had seen the other since the surgery. It was nice. It felt like old times, like all the problems Michelle used to have had never existed. But she also knew she was lucky, and there were plenty of people who never got the funds, nor the donors necessary to survive such a situation. "I don't know," Michelle said, picking lettuce from her teeth, "probably soon. Nothing against Eliza, but I'm getting a little tired of doing puzzles nonstop." Bea chuckled as she bit into her sandwich and chewed. Michelle picked up her drink and sipped from her straw, then pushed her hair from her face and looked at Bea. "Can I ask you a question?" Michelle asked. "Only always, love," Bea replied. "...uh...I don't really know how to ask this without sounding like a confused teenager, but..." Michelle started, "um...how do you know if you have feelings for someone? I never...I guess...I've never really felt anything for anyone, cause I've always been..." Beatrice put her sandwich down and listened as Michelle pulled her hair up into a ponytail and sighed. "Okay, so, when you have something that can kill you, I guess you don't make long term plans, you know? Cause why would you bother? You never even know if you'll BE here next year, right? So I never really pursued a relationship of any kind because, well, I just never figured it was worth the pain," Michelle said, "so I don't really know how it feels to care about someone in that way, or even if they feel that way for you, or how to approach it if you both do or anything." Bea chuckled and sat back in her chair, sipping her iced tea, stirring the cubes in her glass. "Well," Beatrice said, "I guess, if you feel something for them, you recognize they're feelings you've never had before. If it's something you've never felt, then it's likely something new. Something real. Is there someone you're feeling this way for in particular?" Michelle fidgeted, but after a moment she shook her head. "No," she said quietly, "just curious." *** "I tell you, a little charity in this industry goes a long way," Stephanie said, sitting behind her desk at the office as Liam sat in front of her; Steph continued, saying, "like, that whole kerfuffle about her sexuality? Gone in the blink of an eye because she helped save her friend. You can't buy press that good." "Yes you can," Liam said. "Okay, well, not easily," Stephanie said, "honestly, I'm proud of her. She didn't do what she did to look good, she did it out of the kindness of her heart. That level of wholesomeness in show business is rarely seen. Beatrice is truly a genuinely good person." Liam sighed and leaned forward, cupping his hands. "Uh oh, that's never a good position," Steph said, smirking. "We need to renegotiate," Liam said. "I don't know what else Beatrice could be given, I mean, she has-" "No, not for Bea. For Michelle," Liam said, sighing and running his hands over his face before adding, "we need to give her more. A lot more. Beatrice is right. If Michelle, and Keagan as well, hadn't gotten together and tracked her down, tracked me down...none of us would be here right. We're sitting on a success story because of two women who barely get any acknowledgement for their part in said success story. That just doesn't sit well with me. I want them made Executive Producers, and given more money." Stephanie was surprised to hear Liam state his demands so sternly, as he'd always sounded rather flexible. Yet, he did have a point. Those girls were single handedly responsible for bringing Beatrice and the crew out of hiding and back into the spotlight in a way they never thought they'd see. "Well," Steph said, "let's bring them both in soon, when Michelle's up to it, and see what they have to say. I'm not against it. But I'd like to hear if they have any other kind of demands or whatever. Nice of you to go to bat for them." "I've been going to bat for creative women my whole life it seems like," Liam said, leaning back and crossing his legs, "god knows what I'd do if I stopped. I might have to find a new hobby." Stephanie laughed and nodded. Beatrice had always insisted Liam was integral, and now Stephanie understood what Beatrice had meant when she'd said that. *** Eliza was sitting in The Hole, at her work desk, doing draft work when she heard the door open behind her. Expecting their craft services girl to be bringing her lunch, she waved at them over her shoulder but didn't turn to look, so she was a bit surprised when she instead saw Michelle standing there, leaning on her cane. Eliza pulled her glasses up, completely taken aback to see her here. Michelle smiled and looked down at the table. "What are you doing?" Michelle asked. "Uh, oh, just...um...some drawings for potential new puppets for next year," Eliza said, "you know, for when we start shooting again. I figure, ya know, that the sooner I do my part, then the easier it'll make production once it starts up again." "Sound thinking," Michelle said. "I'm not used to seeing you without your canula," Eliza said, pointing at her own nose, "I...I got so used to seeing a oxygen mask or a tank or something around you, that it's actually kinda weird not to now." "Well, I guess I could just carry one around as an accessory," Michelle replied, the both of them giggling; she tossed her ponytail and knelt down by Eliza's chair, looking at her warmly as she asked, "...thank you for being there. Both in the hospital, and when I was in recovery. I really needed someone, and you were there. I know that I wouldn't be here without Beatrice's donation, or Lexi's money, but I don't think you got the credit you deserved, and I wanted you to know just how much I appreciated that." Eliza chewed on her lip, and nodded slowly. "You're such a warm and loving person, and I really don't know how I would've gotten through it all emotionally if I hadn't had your support, so thank you," Michelle said. "Well, I...I wasn't about to lose someone else," Eliza said, stuttering a bit, "when I lost my mom, I felt so bad and I've never really stopped feeling bad, so I...I wanted to make sure that didn't happen again. God that sounds selfish, that's...that's not really how I meant it." "I know," Michelle said, laughing, "I know it isn't, but I understand. I just came by to see people on set and stuff, so I should get going, but we should hang out later or sometime this week or whatever." Michelle stood back up and patted Eliza on the shoulder before turning and heading back towards the door to The Hole. Suddenly she heard a chair scoot across the floor and heard Eliza shouting after her. "Don't go," she said loudly. Michelle stopped and turned, looking back at her. Eliza was standing now, shaking like she was nervous, tugging at her long braid anxiously. Neither one spoke again as they stared at one another. Michelle wasn't sure why Eliza had stopped her, but she was curious to see if Eliza said anything else, so she waited. "I...I don't want you to go," Eliza said, "um...because I've never met someone who wanted to be...who was nice like this...who...I liked visiting you. You never make fun of me. You never question or judge me. We just can do puzzles together, and you like my trains, and I...I have felt so stupid for so much of my life, and yet...when...when you're...when you're with me I feel smart, and I feel like...like what I say and think matters and means something and...you make me...you make me feel...good. Just...genuinely good. I feel like I lost my place in the world when my mother died, and when I'm with you, it's like I suddenly have a place again." Michelle stared at Eliza, unsure of how to respond. She chewed on her lip and waited to see if she would continue. Eliza stuttered, as if trying to form another sentence, but was unable to. She finally, tugging hard on her braid, looked at her shoes and whispered. "You make the world make sense," she said, "and to someone like me, to whom nothing makes sense...that means the most." Michelle smiled, and let go of the doorknob. The door to The Hole swung shut again as she started to walk back towards Eliza, who stumbled backwards, leaning against her drafting desk. Michelle leaned against her, their faces mere inches apart. Eliza could feel Michelle's breath on her skin, and then felt her hand run up on her neck. Michelle held Eliza's face in her hand and shut her eyes. What could she say? She'd never felt like this before. She'd never once felt anything for anyone, because she'd never allowed herself to. What words could she find to respond? Eliza had found the words, so surely she could as well? "Are you gonna kiss me?" Eliza finally asked, her voice a quaky feminine whisper. "I'd like to," Michelle responded, breathing heavily, nervous. "I'd like you to," Eliza replied, making Michelle blush. Michelle, as it turned out, didn't need to find the words. Instead she pushed her lips against Eliza's and kissed her in a way she'd never kissed anyone before. She kissed her with a level of adoration she'd never felt, and while kissing her, she realized what she'd let herself miss this whole time. She'd denied herself the option to love because she was afraid she wouldn't live long enough to appreciate it, or she would hurt someone by dying, but now she realized that simply loving was worth it regardless of the circumstances. Eliza leaned back on her drafting desk, Michelle putting her knee up on one side of it, almost mounting her, kissing her. After she finally pulled away, neither Eliza nor Michelle could speak. They stayed that way, breathless, wordless, for what felt like an hour. Finally Eliza smiled and hugged her, crying. Michelle hugged her back, squeezing tightly. Michelle got pleasure from her work, no doubt. But the best thing the show had ever given her was Eliza, and she refused to ever let that go now. *** Beatrice had the place to herself for a change. Leslie was at work, Liam was busy negotiating contracts for the new set of episodes to be produced, and so for the first time in weeks, Beatrice was alone. She'd need to have her therapy at some point - both physical and mental - but for the moment, she just embraced being alone in her apartment again. She figured, since she had the time and, for once, the energy, she would go through her closet and clear some things out. Beatrice pulled some boxes down, as she did, an envelope slid off the top of it and landed at her feet. Beatrice furrowed her brow, confused at what it could be. She set the boxes down and then sat on them, grabbing the large envelope. As she unlatched and slid its contents out, it dawned on her what she had come across, and she immediately put them back in. These were papers she didn't want to see. These were papers she wanted to forget about. Beatrice sighed and wiped at her teary eyes with her sweater sleeve. She never wanted to revisit that day if she could help it. It had been - aside from Beatrice's death - the single hardest day of her life. Hell, even thinking about it made her want to break down. She didn't need to dwell on it. She had people now. She had friends and family, and young women to look out for. She didn't need to drag herself back into her past and revisit something she never had any chance to change as it is. She looked at the envelope again and chewed her nails. Then, she stood up, walked to a small jar on a tiny table by the couch and pulled out a sharpie. She went back, sat back down and picked the envelope back up, placing it in her lap. She pulled the cap off the sharpie with her teeth and started writing on the envelopes face. "Claire B-G." When she was done, she looked at it, and nodded. That was all she had to write, really. The name alone would indicate to her what the envelope meant, and to never touch it again. She tucked the envelope back into the closet, back into the darkness, hiding it from herself once more. She just hoped, more than anything, that Claire would forgive her if she knew. She hadn't been able to take care of someone then, but she was able to save Michelle now, and she figured that more than made up for her regrets. Beatrice then shut the closet door.
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Beatrice Beagle follows a young woman obsessed with a defunct pizzeria and kids show featuring a dog mascot. As she uncovers more about its mysterious past, she becomes sucked into the life of the woman who played the mascot, they both discover just how much they need eachother. Archives
April 2024
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