Natasha found herself sitting in the guest room backstage of a local talk show. She never would've expected herself to be a guest on anything, and yet, here she was. Ever since her breakdown on her own show a few weeks prior, the press had all been coming in positive, and bringing in more money to the public access station her show as a part of. She'd even been given the timeslot beside the other most popular show on the network.
She found her eyes glancing around the room, taking it all in. This was definitely more big time than she was, or likely ever would be. Suddenly her eyes drifted down to the table in front of her, filled with a snackplate that consisted almost entirely of grapes and nothing else. Natasha scoffed. Grapes? This was the best a talk show had to offer? Sure, they were only a local talk show, but still, that felt wrong. The door opened and a young woman stuck her head in, adjusting the earpiece she had lodged into one side of her head. She smiled at Natasha and waved. "Miss Simple? They're ready for you," she said. Natasha stood up, brushed herself off and walked out, following the woman down the hall. This was her day, and nothing was going to ruin it. Except that wasn't true, because by the end of the day, she'd be in a lot of hot water, and all because of a single word she'd said. *** "I should ask what's wrong with you," Lawrence said, "but I'm not even sure that you know. I'm starting to think that we need to get you a doctor, a specialist, who can somehow saw open your head and inspect your brain to find out the problem, because holy shit you've created such a storm in just two weeks." "I know. I'm sorry," Nat said, looking down at her shoes. "Did you not know it was a family friendly talk show? Did you not know that all the women there are mothers? Did you not know that women with young children at home watch the show? Tell me what happened," Lawrence continued, sitting on his desk, folding his arms, "Cause I'm confused." "I'm a mom too, I just...I...I guess I didn't think it was a big deal. I didn't even swear, but if I had, I swear around my daughter all the time, and she-" "Your daughter is a teenager, she's swearing!" Lawrence said, "But show me the last 5 year old who spoke like a sailor, and then maybe you'll have an argument in your defense!" Nat shrugged, continuing to avert her eyes from her boss as he rubbed his forehead, stood back up and paced around to the other side of his desk, seating himself behind it once more. "I don't like being mad at you, I like you Natalie," Lawrence said, "You're...a really nice, intelligent, creative person, and I like you. But I can't ignore when someone creates a firestorm like this. I'm the president of the network, it's expected of me to punish you, or do something to show the public that you've been punished. The longer I don't do something, the more at risk that puts me, do you get that?" "Yeah, I...I do, I understand," Natalie said, "...am I fired?" "You're not fired, of course not. I think the fallout will blow over and be overshadowed by your good press from your show, but...I don't know what I'm gonna do." Natalie didn't respond, and Lawrence started losing himself in paperwork. After a bit, he told her she could go, so she stood up and walked out. In the hall, Natalie leaned against the wall and cried quietly to herself. Jay stopped by and touched her arm, slightly startling her. "Sorry," he said, "You okay?" "...I'm an idiot," Natalie said. "Naw, those people on the talk show are over reactionary, you're fine," Jay said, as they started walking down the hall together; he continued, "Honestly, I don't see anything wrong with what you did. They asked you a question and you answered, like an adult, to another adult, about an adult subject." "Exactly!" Natalie said, "Thank you!" "Who cares if their kids were watching? They're watching because their parents are watching it, and are you telling me those same kids don't hear those same words in their own household daily? Gimme a break. They're trying to relegate responsibility and shift blame to a guilty party because they don't wanna be the guilty party." "God, see, you understand," Natalie said, "What's the big damn deal? They're gonna make me apologize. Can you believe that?" "Well, you do represent the station," Jay said, "Much as I may agree with you, you do represent the station, so whatever you do that looks bad only looks bad on the station threefold. Makes sense to make you apologize, even if it is ridiculous." "I guess," Nat replied, chewing her nails, "I never wanna get Lawrence hassled, so it's probably for the best." Jay and Natasha continued to the kitchen of the office and made themselves a little snack, all the while bitching about the ridiculousness of the situation. It was nice that she had at least one friend, aside from Lawrence, around these parts, Natasha figured. Made her feel like maybe the entire world wasn't just out to get her. *** Violet was always picked up after school by her mother, but on the rare days she couldn't manage to do this, Violet found herself having to take the bus home. She hated taking the bus; it put her into extremely close contact with the kids who gave her grief, but without the sanctity of a teacher or guardian to protect her from their bullshit. Sitting on a bus seat now, listening to music and reading a book, she could hear all the kids behind her shouting and laughing behind her. She sighed and tried to drown it out, when she felt a hand on her arm, and glanced up to see Courtney. "What are you doing on the bus?" Violet asked, pulling her headphones down somewhat. "I saw you get on, and figured you'd be lonely," Courtney said, "But we're gonna get off at the next stop, okay? Trust me, just get off with me. It'll be worth it." Violet certainly wasn't going to turn down the chance to escape this hormonal driven cacophony that surrounded her currently, so she nodded, agreeing to follow Courtney's lead. As the bus came to a stop, she felt Courtney tug on her arm and lead her off the bus. Courtney, belonging to the family she belonged to, wasn't stopped by the driver, and instead they walked right off and waited on the corner for a moment in a residential neighborhood Violet didn't recognize one bit. After a minute or two of waiting, Violet opened her mouth to ask a question, but Courtney, grinning widely, just pointed at a car approaching them. A very fancy car. As the car pulled over, an older man got out and looked at the girls. "Get in," he said, "We're going to get something to eat." "We shouldn't get in the car with strangers," Violet said and Courtney laughed. "That's my dad!" she said, "Come on!" Violet, this time rather reluctantly, agreed and followed Courtney into the backseat of the car. Courtney's father, Bryan, was a handsome older man. Still had a full head of hair, a slight beard shadow, and was dressed in a very nice suit. He quickly revved the card and took off down the street, far faster than Violet was admittedly comfortable with. As they sped down the road, Courtney looked at Violet, who had a face of concern, and touched her shoulder. Violet turned to face her and Courtney smiled. "Relax," she said, "I just thought this would be better than riding the bus with those jerks." Violet allowed herself to relax a loosen a bit. She wasn't used to being treated well by one of her peers, so her guard was constantly up, but she figured she could trust Courtney. After all, she was going to get her something to eat. They found a nice Thai food place and all slid into the booth; Courtney and Violet on one side, her father on the other side. He made it clear they could order whatever it was they wanted, and not worry about the price. He just wanted them to eat well. Violet didn't know what a lot of this stuff was, so they had to explain it in detail to her, but eventually they settled on a dish she thought sounded somewhat appealing. After giving their order to the waitress, Bryan cupped his hands and smiled across the table at the two girls. "Courtney tells me you like horses," he said. "Yes," Violet said quietly, "I like horses a lot." "She says you've never ridden a horse, and she brought up the idea of maybe the two of you going trail riding together sometime," Bryan said, "With a chaperone, of course, just because it can be dangerous at times." "I'd like that. I've always wanted to ride a horse. I'll have to ask my mom though," Violet said, and Bryan nodded. "Of course, no, we wouldn't want to do anything behind her back obviously. Ask your mom, see what she says and then maybe I'll call her up and we can arrange it all," Bryan said, "You'll love it. It's a very...calming experience." Violet smiled at that sentiment. Life hadn't been very calm lately, so she liked the sound of that. *** Natasha was sitting in a waiting area at the station, prepared to make a public statement with Lawrence, when Sharla entered the room, still in her workout clothes. She smiled at Nat and took a seat beside her, biting into an apple. "For what it's worth," Sharla said, "...I don't think what you did was dumb." This surprised Natasha, who turned to look at her with a look of disbelief on her face. "You? Of all people?" "I know we haven't always gotten along, but I do think what you did was fine. These people, they're so uptight. You can't say a single thing around them that they think might hurt the children, even though half those children are going to grow up doing that very thing," Sharla said, "Had you said something actually genuinely offensive, then perhaps I'd be more inclined to agree with them, but this? This is lunacy." "...thanks Sharla, that means a lot," Natasha said, and Sharla nodded, patting Nat on the shoulder before Jay entered and looked at them. "He's ready for you," Jay said, and Nat sighed, stood up and pulled her hair back. "Go get 'em tiger," Sharla said, making Nat smile as she headed out of the room, following Jay down the long hallway to the small lobby where the press and the women from the talk show Nat had dropped her offending word on were stationed. Lawrence was already standing at a small podium they'd brought there for this very occasion, holding a microphone. He turned and saw Nat, and both just sort of grimaced at one another. She stood behind him, looking at the ground, not saying a word. Lawrence turned to the crowd and cleared his throat. "Um," he started, "My name is Lawrence Bell, and I'm the president of this station. As many already know, a personal friend and colleague, Natasha Simple, recently said something on a local talk show that has offended some people, and after some deliberation, we have decided that she should publicly apologize. Maybe then we can all let bygones be bygones and get on with our lives. Natasha is a very valued member of our station, but she does recognize when she's screwed up. That being said, she's also not too pride to admit to her mistakes and own up to them, as so. So with that, I'll let Miss Simple take the stand." Lawrence handed Natasha the mic and backed away, now standing behind her, pushing his glasses up his nose. "Hello," Natasha said, "As many of you know, I've recently undergone a very awful event, an event I then made public on my very own show. This is how I was invited to be on the talk show to begin with. At this talk show, I was asked a question about my situation, and I responded in a way they didn't appreciate, by dropping a word they didn't want their children to hear. This word is divorce. I only say it here to give you context. To me, the word should not be something shameful of feared, but instead embraced. I'm soon to be divorced, it's something I have to begin associating with myself. I think it's ridiculous to hide children from the realities of life, but if that's what some people want to die, lie to their kids, then who am I to say otherwise?" "Nat, christ," Lawrence mumbled, as Sharla chuckled to herself from off to the side. "That being said, I am going to apologize. I'm very very sorry, and if what I said made you children unhappy, if it made them ask you uncomfortable questions about marriage, then I'm sorry for that as well. I would never want to make children uncomfortable, I have a daughter myself, so I know the feeling of wanting to protect them from even the seemingly stupidest things." Lawrence quickly grabbed the mic from her and pushed his way in front of her, looking annoyed. "I think that clears that up," Lawrence said, cutting her off, "Any questions? Yeah, you, with the green tie." A man in a suit with a green tie, holding a clipboard - clearly a reporter of some kind - stepped forward. "I'm Carl Worth with the Family Values Network, and I just have to ask if Miss Simple thinks that perhaps, with her attitude towards the very concept of divorce in general, she deserved to be left?" he asked, and Lawrence gawked at him, almost in awe. "Excuse me?" Lawrence asked, "No more questions. This conference is over." Lawrence turned and began to walk away, then stopped and looked at Natasha, who wouldn't look at him. He gritted his teeth, turned around, walked up to the reporter and clocked him in the jaw, sending him sprawling to the ground. As people shouted and gathered around to help him up, Lawrence shook his fist and rubbed his knuckles. "Now this conference is over," he said, before turning back, snapping his fingers for his people to follow him. In the halls, as everyone dispersed, Natasha walked briskly by his side as they headed to the kitchen so he could run his hand under some water. "Wow," Natasha said, "I've never had my honor defended before." "Well, as much as what they might not like what you said, I didn't appreciate what they said, so it goes both ways," Lawrence said, rubbing his hand off on a dish towel, leaning against the counter, "You may be my employee, but you're also my friend, and I won't let anyone talk about you that way no matter which you happen to be." "...thanks Lawrence," Nat said, smiling, almost crying. Lawrence approached her and hugged her tightly, as she started crying into his shirt; she sobbed, "I didn't want it to end." "I know you didn't, sweetheart. I'm so sorry. It wasn't your fault," Lawrence said quietly, rubbing her back. It was the first time Natasha had really admitted that her marriage truly was over, and it felt like a huge relief off her shoulders. *** That night at home, Natasha was sitting on her bed, looking through some papers her husband had sent over that she'd been ignoring to this point, when she heard her door creak open and saw Violet standing there. "Hi honey," Nat said, pushing her papers aside and patting her bed for Violet to come sit down. "Can I ride a horse?" Violet asked, surprising Nat, making her chuckle. "Uh, I guess? Why? Where'd you-" "A girl at school asked me if I wanted to ride horses with her, she's rich and her family owns horses. They want to take me riding. Can I go?" Violet asked, coming in and sitting on the bed, "Please?" "Of course, I think that sounds wonderful," Nat said, "Is everything else okay?" "...I'm glad it's dad who left and not you," Violet said quietly, "I need you." "Oh, Violet, you don't-" "You understand me," Violet said, sounding like she was going to cry, before she crawled further up on the bed and pushed herself into her mothers lap. Natasha held her daughter and stroked her hair, rocking back and forth a bit, just taking care of her child. She'd known that her husband had never really understood, or been happy about, his daughters mental issues, but she wasn't sure if Violet had ever picked up on this. Apparently she had, and this only made Natasha hate her husband even more than she already did. "I wanna ride a horse," Violet said softly. "Then baby, you're gonna ride a horse," Nat said, kissing her head. Even if they never had anyone else, the Simple girls at least had eachother, and that was more than most families had.
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Public Access follows Natasha Simple, a self qualified "self help" instructor with her own show on local public access. But when she makes a sudden and surprising statement on air, her entire life changes, for the better...and the worse. Archives
December 2022
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