"She was at my wedding," Nat said, "She was right there, right next to me. She helped me get ready, she helped me plan the entire thing, she helped pick out my dress, and then she steals my husband and I'm supposed to just be okay with all of it?"
Corrine shrugged. She didn't even understand why she was going to this to begin with, nor was she interested in giving advice on something she had no experience in. "You of all people should know what it's like to be hurt," Nat said. "There's different levels of different hurt," Corrine replied, "what happened to me isn't what happened to you, nor should they be viewed as such. My relationship didn't end because they wanted to be with someone else, it ended for entirely different reasons. And you put all the blame on your sister, why doesn't Stephen get any of the blame?" "He does," Natasha said, turning down a street and slowing the car down to a crawl as they approached her sisters house, "he does, I just...the thing is, Stephen's just a guy I met at some point in my life, but she was my sister, my own flesh and blood, the one person in this world I thought I could trust and depend on more than anyone else, you know? That level of betrayal from someone that close to you...it's devastating." Corrine couldn't argue with that, at least. As the car came to a stop in front of Ashley's house, Nat turned around in her seat and looked at Noreen in the back. "What about you?" she asked, "Got any input?" "I've never met the woman, therefore I cannot give a detailed opinion as such. But I appreciate you giving me a ride," she said. "You shouldn't be poisoning your own sisters mind against her other sister before she's even had a chance to meet her," Corrine said, "that isn't fair. Let her come up with her own beliefs about her from their personal interactions." Nat scoffed, then climbed out of the car. She walked around to the back and opened the trunk, pulling out a small bag, while Noreen undid her seatbelt and looked at Corrine, who was picking something out of her teeth using the rearview mirror to see. "Why did she bring you anyway?" Noreen asked. "I have no idea," Corrine said, "but this should be a fun afternoon." *** Natasha and Ashley Simple had been born only two years apart. This meant they essentially grew up as children together, and did everything together. When they were little, they didn't play with other children, only eachother, and as they got older, that bond only seemed to strengthen. They shared a bedroom until they were almost teenagers, and once they had their own bedrooms in the new house, they still preferred to spend all their time together in the same room. It was hard to keep the girls apart. One summer, their parents separated them and sent Nat to see some relatives and sent Ash to a local summer camp. Neither went well, and neither had a good time. It wasn't until they were back home that the summer was enjoyable again for everyone. Their parents pretty quickly learned just how attached the girls were to eachother, and in the end, wound up considering themselves lucky that they had a pair of siblings who didn't hate one another. Everything Nat had said was true, too. Ashley had helped plan the wedding, had helped pick out the dress, all of those things, and then she took Stephen away. Nat knew Stephen was partially to blame, and hell, she even knew she wasn't totally infallible, but in the end, all her ire wound up being directed primarily towards Ashley. Now Ashley wanted to have a sit down with all three sisters, clear the air and start anew, but Natasha wasn't ready to start anew. She still wanted to be angry. She wanted to be angry forever. But that wouldn't be fair to Noreen. So she put her feelings aside and agreed to the meet up at Ashley's, if for no other reason than for Noreen to get to know her other sister, because Natasha loved her sisters, adopted or otherwise. *** "Where's Violet?" Nat asked upon entering, handing Ashley the bag as Corrine and Noreen followed her inside. "Stephen took her out while we're doing this," Ash said, "he didn't think she would wanna be here for this. Did you bring pastries? That's so domesticated of you." "I'm not a wild dog, dude," Nat said. Ash chuckled as she shut the door once the others were inside, then introduced herself. "Hello," she said, holding her hand out to shake, "I'm Ashley." "Corrine," Corrine said, shaking her hand, "I'm a friend of Nat's." Ash then looked at Noreen and put a hand to her mouth. "God," she whispered, "you look JUST like mom." "I do?" Noreen asked, giddy. "Yeah, she's right, you do," Nat added, "it's almost eerie." "You have a nice place," Corrine said, shoving her hands into her coat pockets as she walked through the house, Ashley on her heels; Noreen and Nat made their way to the kitchen to make some coffee, leaving Corrine and Ashley alone. "Thank you!" Ashley said, "I like doing interior design. It's nice to have, ya know, control over your surroundings. It starts out when you're a kid and you get to decorate your own bedroom, you know, and then it blossoms into decorating an entire house. I mean, maybe not everyone feels that way, but I sure do." "No, I get what you mean," Corrine said, "life is so messy, so...undeniably messy that it's nice to have some kind of control in some way on some level. I never got to decorate my bedroom, actually. My parents didn't let me have a whole lot of freedom, so." "Really? That's...sad, actually," Ash said, "I'm sorry." "It's alright. I put all that energy into making myself cool instead," Corrine said, giving Ashley finger guns and making her laugh. Meanwhile, in the kitchen, Natasha was getting the coffee maker to brew while Noreen was leaning against the counter and looking at all the kitchen decorations. "She seems nice," Noreen said. "Yeah, so do serial killers," Nat replied. "...can I ask you a question, about...well...about your family? Our family?" "Of course, what do you wanna know?" "Would mom and dad like me if they met me?" Noreen asked, and Nat sighed as she too turned away from the brewing coffeemaker and leaned against the counter, folding her arms. "...I don't know," Natasha said, "but it's nothing personal, they just...they don't really like anyone but eachother, and even then I question that. Mom and dad are weird, that was why Ashley and I got so close was because we needed someone to rely on, you know? Mom and dad were always distant and aloof. Not cruel, don't get me wrong, they weren't cold or mean or nasty or anything like that, they just...were never really parents, if that makes sense? They took care of us, they clothed us, fed us, got us a good education, but..." Nat took a moment and chewed on her fingernails. "...when Violet was little, like 4 or 5, you know, she'd come into the bedroom in the mornings and she'd...she'd climb into the bed with Stephen and I and she'd lay there with us. We'd all lay there. We'd do things with her, as a family. Even when she got older, like 9, we still did things with her. Took her places, introduced her to things, had specific family nights where we ordered in food and watched kids movies together, and it was always a great time. Those are the kinds of memories Ashley and I don't have with mom and dad, you know? Those memories that ensure that your parents truly enjoyed having you around." Noreen nodded, listening closely as Nat's voice cracked a little, on the verge of tears. "I think that's partially why I started the show, was to show others out there that someone cared about them, and that they should care about themselves too. When you have parents, but you don't have parents, it makes the world feel so much colder and empty and sad. Here are the very people who gave life to you, and yet they don't really care much for your company. Kinda hurts, you know?" "I understand," Noreen said, "that must be why her stealing Stephen hurt so much." "Exactly. That's what Corrine doesn't understand," Natasha said, "Ashley was my everything, even more than Stephen. She's who I told all my dreams and secrets too, she's the only person I had that resembled family in any kind of manner, and to have her do what she did, it killed me inside." "Well, maybe today we can resuscitate the part of you that die," Noreen said, making Natasha smirk. After a bit, Natasha and Noreen brought coffee into the living room, where Ashley and Corrine were seated, laughing and chatting. Ashley had opened the small box of pastries and set them on the coffee table. Nat and Noreen sat down and handed Ashley and Corrine their coffee, then waited for the conversation to be over. After a minute or two of wrapping up their discussion, Ashley finally turned and looked at her sisters. "...I need to tell you right out the gate how sorry I am," Ashley said, "because...because what happened wasn't okay, and I've felt terrible about it the entire time, and a lot of times I've considered ending things between him and I just because of that but then I think how awful that'd be for him cause he wouldn't have anyone else to go back to and-" "I don't want your apology," Nat said, interrupting, "I don't need apologies. I need explanation. I need a reason. What could've possibly possessed you to do what you did? You were my best friend, my sister, how could you-" "I was jealous. You had a husband, a career, a child...but it wasn't strictly jealousy. Sure, I wanted part of what you had, but you were always better than me, always knew what to do with yourself and your life and how to be with others," Ashley said, "I didn't, so I had to take what you had and claim it as my own. But, like I said, that wasn't my only reason....a few weeks after your wedding, I...I started having these painful headaches. Eventually they got so bad, I had to see a doctor, but I couldn't drive there myself cause I was afraid I'd crash, so I asked Stephen to drive me. I had brain cancer." The room was silent, as Natasha, Noreen and even Corrine sat in shock. "...what?" Nat asked. "I had brain cancer, and it didn't look good at first," Ashley said, "so I started drafting up a will, and making plans for what would be left when I was gone, but until then I decided I wanted just a part of what you had, since I'd never get the chance to experience it myself, so I talked to Stephen and after a while we started seeing one another. I know it's wrong, but my mindset was 'well, you'll be dead before or if it ever comes out anyway so where's the harm?'. Then I didn't die, and suddenly my homewrecking decision had lasting consequences. I tried to end things numerous times, but Stephen started telling me how you had given yourself to your job instead of him, and I think he felt left out, and things just escalated from there." Corrine looked from Ashley to Nat, raising an eyebrow. "So it wasn't meant to hurt you, really it wasn't, I just wanted to feel lucky enough to have just a bit of what you had, if only for a brief amount of time before I was gone," Ashley said, wiping her eyes on her sleeve while Corrine rubbed her back; Ashley continued, "I wanted to tell you so long ago, but Stephen...I don't know, he didn't want to for some reason. Stephen is so...needy." Natasha cracked up, which surprised both Noreen and Corrine - the latter of which gave her a strange look - but Ashley laughed too, much to their surprise. "He's got, like, emotional insecurity or something," Ash said, "like, you know how we're kinda messed up because mom and dad were distant? He's got it like ten fold." "He really does," Nat said, "but I liked that about him, that was why we were drawn to one another, and I'm assuming it's the same for you." "It was, yeah," Ash said, "but I realize now you're worth much more, and I can't go through my life without my sister. You have every right to hate me, and to never wanna speak to me again, but..." she glanced at Noreen and added, "I figured, with another sister, we might be able to form some kind of bond again. If Noreen is interested." They all looked at Noreen, who smiled warmly. "All my life," she said, "all I ever wanted was a sister. I was happy with my parents, even after they told me I was adopted. I didn't crave to know my actual parents. But I always wanted a sibling. So yeah, if you'd let me be a part of the family, I'd like to help you all rebuild it." Things had gone surprisingly well, even if the truth shocked Nat to her core. Her own sister had come so close to death, yet had never mentioned it? She told Ash later that afternoon that she was a thousand times braver than she could ever hope to be, and just how proud of her she was. She even told Ash that she had a friend she worked with named Sharla who was a health nut who could help her take care of herself, which Ashley didn't object to. After a while, Nat said she should take Noreen home, but Corrine offered to stay behind and help Ashley clean up. Nat said she wouldn't be so long, and she'd come back for her. Corrine helped Ashley pick up all the pastry containers, and put them into the box, then took the coffee mugs into the kitchen. As Ashley washed the mugs in the sink and Corrine put the garbage in the can, she turned and looked at Ashley. "She seems to consider you her best friend," Ashley said, "I'm glad she was able to find someone else to fill that void." "You think? You think I'm her best friend?" Corrine asked, "...she is letting me stay with her, and she did give me a lot of money, and she did hire me. I guess you're right. I'm so sorry you had to go through what you did. I know what it's like to have someone drop you because of the opinion of another." "Yeah, well, it won't be an issue much longer anyway," Ashley said, "Stephen and I are struggling. I think we trauma bonded, and now that the trauma is gone, the bond isn't as strong. That and..." A pause. Corrine leaned against the counter next to Ashley and tossed her hair, looking at her. "And what?" she asked. "...nothing, it doesn't matter," Ashley said, checking her watch, "I can drop you off, save her a trip. I'll call her and tell her." "You don't have to-" "I want to," Ashley said, leaving the room to call Nat. As she watched her leave, Corrine felt at peace for the first time in a while. She was included in a family, albeit not her own, and she was the best friend to someone. So then why did she feel so awkward at the same time? Maybe it was because she was undeniably, overwhelmingly attracted to Ashley from the moment she saw her. No. She had to ignore it. She'd already seen the damage that had been done, she couldn't contribute to that more. Then again, she wondered, Natasha had always spread a message about not being ashamed of what you need, and she needed something more than what she had.
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Public Access follows Natasha Simple, a self qualified "self help" instructor with her own show on local public access. But when she makes a sudden and surprising statement on air, her entire life changes, for the better...and the worse. Archives
December 2022
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