It was about 6:45 pm, and the AOPT ceremony was just beginning. The AOPT, Awards for Outstanding Public Television, was something that happened every single year, and this year, likely due to the buzz surrounding her recent public image, Natasha Simple had finally been nominated and won. But she was nowhere to be found at the ceremony, no, instead Natasha Simple was sitting in the hallway of a hospital, in her suit, looking at her watch. That's how she knew the ceremony was about to begin, after all.
She sighed and rubbed her palms on her knees, waiting to be allowed to be sent in. Violet sat down next to Natasha and tried to open a bag of snacks from the vending machine, but eventually gave it to Natasha, who happily opened it for her. Violet suffered from problems with hand eye coordination, and often struggled with seemingly simple things like this, but Natasha didn't mind doing it for her. Violet scooped some of the snacks into her palm and ate them one at a time. "How long will we be here?" Violet asked and Natasha shrugged. "Honestly, I thought I'd be in the room by now, so I don't have a clue," she replied, checking her watch again. "You don't want your award?" Violet asked, and Natasha chuckled. "I don't need an award to recognize the work I'm doing," she said, "I know what I'm accomplishing, the ones being helped by it know what I'm accomplishing it, I don't need some tiny tin statue to validate what I already know is true." A nurse walked up to their seats and looked down at them. Violet and Natasha glanced up and Natasha smiled at her. The nurse held up her clipboard and jotted something down before looking back down at her. "I think you can go in now," she said, "Sorry that took so long, they were still running some tests on her." Natasha thanked the nurse, then patted Violet on the back and gave her some more money for snacks in case she wasn't finished before she ran out of her current bag. She then stood up, smoothed out her suit, pulled her hair up into a bun and then walked into the room. The hospital room was bare bones, just some medical equipment and the patient. No flowers, no cards, absolutely nothing to show that people were thinking about this poor girl. And in the bed she lay; she was maybe 14, she was pale and sickly, her eyes had large dark circles under them and her hair looked unwashed. But she did perk up a bit when Natasha came in and shut the door behind her. "Miss Simple," the girl said, doing her best to sit upright, "You actually came." "Well of course I came, only a jerk wouldn't come to a request like this," Natasha said, sitting on a stool at the end of the bed, probably reserved for the nurses; she continued, "You look pretty good!" "Don't lie to me," the girl said, "We both know I look like a hot mess. I haven't been able to properly shower in weeks." "Don't they sponge bathe you or something?" Natasha asked, folding her legs. "I don't really like people touching me. They do it, yeah, but...I'm not comfortable with it so they don't do it very often," the girl replied. "That's understandable, I'm quite protective of my personal space myself," Natasha said, "So, Jenna, what can I do for you today? I know you asked to see me, and here I am, fulfilling your wish, but is there anything in particular you want to talk about?" Jenna looked at her hands and fiddled with the devices clamped to her fingers. She looked embarrassed, and Natasha couldn't understand why. After a few minutes, Jenna finally cleared her throat and looked back up at Natasha. "I just wanted to thank you," she said, "...you raised me more than my own mother." Natasha didn't know how to respond to this. *** Meanwhile in the hallway, Violet was putting another bill into the machine, trying to get a bag of cookies from the machine, when she felt a presence nearby. She turned to see Courtney standing there, smiling at her. Violet waited a moment, smoothed the bill out on her leg and then went back to trying to push it into the machine to be exchanged for cookies. "Need some help?" Courtney asked, "I have crisper bills if that's the problem." "What are you doing here?" Violet asked. "I had a doctors appointment," Courtney said, "I'm just waiting for my dad to come back and get me. He went to get dinner while I was in the office. What are you doing here?" "My mom is seeing some kid," Violet said, "She's sick." "Oh, like a wish fulfillment thing?" Courtney asked, and Violet needed as she groaned in frustration and handed the dollar to Courtney, who smiled sweetly, took it and replaced it with a fresh new dollar from her pocketbook. This worked instantly, and Violet tried to open the bag before handing that to Courtney as well. She gladly opened it for her, in exchange for a single cookie. "Why a doctors appointment?" Violet asked as they walked and ate, "Are you okay? You're not sick too, right?" "No, I'm not sick," Courtney said, "I just have a condition I need checked on from time to time." The girls continued down the hall and Courtney listened to Violet chewing the cookies, wondering if she should open up more about what she was dealing with. She figured, if anyone would understand, it would be Violet, being different herself. But before she could speak again, Violet started talking. "I wish we were going to the awards show," Violet said, "But my mom says she doesn't need an award to recognize her work. I don't think she does either, but I wish she'd let people compliment her instead of denying them the option to." Courtney smiled. "Yeah, your mom does a lot of cool stuff, she deserves to be seen for it," Courtney said, "Course, she's seen like every single day, on the television, but you know what I mean. She should've gone to the awards show...what if we got the award for her? What if we went to the show and we picked it up in her absence?" "...they'd probably let me, they know I'm her kid," Violet said, "...would you really go with me to do that?" "It'd be awesome!" Courtney said, "Plus then you could score, like, major brownie points in your moms favor!" "I don't need brownie points, she already loves me enough," Violet said, making Courtney laugh at how somewhat annoyed she'd sounded saying this, but Violet grinned and nodded, "Okay, let's do it! I know where it is, can your dad drive us?" "Totally!" *** "I'm sorry, I did what now?" Natasha asked, confused. "I was homeschooled by a tutor, and everyday for lunch I would be given an hour to decompress, and one of the things I'd do every day is watch your show. My parents were never really around, and so I kind of looked to you as a guide for how to be a good person. You kinda created my morals and ethics. You taught me how to take care of myself, and be nice to others. You were around and my parents weren't, so I always felt, I don't know, kinda like you were a mom in some way. A surrogate mom." Natasha felt herself wanting to cry for this child, who'd been all but forgotten by her own parents and instead had to turn to a woman she didn't know on a television to help provide her insight into how to grow up and love herself. "Jenna, I...I am a mom, so maybe that's what you picked up on, but I'm so so sorry that you had to turn to someone else for guidance like that. No kid should be without their parents. I'm glad I was able to be there for you when you needed someone, but-" "No, you don't understand," Jenna said, "You weren't just there when I needed someone. You were there all the time. You were the only adult I trusted. I looked around at all the other adults in my life and all I saw was hate and cruelty and lies. But you didn't do any of that, and instead you created self worth based on accepting who you were, not lying about who you were." Natasha sat back on the stool and sighed. She was somewhat shocked at this admission. She knew her show helped people, she'd met many fans who had told her this, but she'd never once been face to face with a young person, a child almost, who said she'd raised them. This was something she didn't know how to approach. "Because of you, even when I came to the hospital, and got sicker and sicker, I had you on the TV to look up to, literally because it's mounted on the ceiling, and you got me to feel happy even when I felt at my absolute worst physically. I owe you so much, Miss Simple," Jenna said, and Natasha wanted to cry. "You don't owe me anything, this is why I do what I do," Natasha said. She was sitting here in this room, helping this child, while her own child was out helping her, though her mother was unaware of it. Jenna went on to discuss her treatments, and how Natasha's upbeat attitude had kept her positive in the face of near certain death, and for the first time in ages, Natasha felt like she'd finally done some good again. *** Violet and Courtney were in the backseat of the car as Bryan followed the directions Violet had given him. He glanced in the rearview mirror and shook his head, exhaling. "You're sure this alright, right?" he asked. "I don't know," Violet said, shrugging, "But my mom never gets to feel good now, she's always helping others feel good, so I wanna do something for her instead." Bryan smiled. Violet was a sweet kid, there was no denying that. He was impressed, and thankful that his own child had befriended someone so kind and considerate. They took a few turns, got on and off a ramp and then eventually pulled up to the building where the AOPT was being held. He looked back at the girls and gave a thumbs up, saying, "Good luck." Courtney and Violet thanked him, knowing he'd wait for them to finish, then got out of the car and headed inside. The Inside of the building was well decorated for this event, and everyone was well dressed, the few they saw still milling about in the hub of the building anyway, as most were in the dining hall awaiting their awards. Courtney and Violet headed in that direction before being stopped by a large man in a suit with a clipboard. "Can I help you?" he asked. "My mom is Natasha Simple, she couldn't be here but I came to get her award for her," Violet said, and the man checked his clipboard, then nodded, and let the girls go on their way. They giggled as they headed into the dining hall area, and when they finally saw the stage where the awards were being given out, Violet really began to wonder why her mom was so hesitant towards being acknowledge for her work. Way she saw it, Natasha deserved to let herself be a little self absorbed from time to time. *** Natasha wrapped up her meeting with Jenna, promising to come visit her again, and even opted to pay for some of her medical expenses. As she stepped back out into the hallway, she leaned against the wall, covered her face with her hands and cried quietly into her palms. Natasha had never expected to have this sort of impact on someone, especially someone so young. She figured, if anyone, he words reached mass amounts of stay at home moms or divorced women, or even possibly college girls who felt lost themselves, but never someone Jenna's age. But, that didn't mean she didn't appreciate it. Jenna had needed someone, and Natasha, despite not being aware of it at the time, had been there. After her incident with Amanda previously, even with that winding up positive at the end of it all, this had been a much more welcome situation. Certainly hampered a bit by Jenna's incredibly unfair health conditions, but welcome nonetheless simply because Natasha, for a change, felt appreciated instead of shamed. Standing there, trying to stop crying, she heard the shuffling of feet approaching her. Natasha looked up and wiped her eyes on her sleeve, then noticed it was Violet who was standing there, holding a statue in her hands. Natasha looked at the statue for a long time, trying to process what exactly it was, until she finally looked back up at Violet's face. "What is-" "It's your award," Violet said, "You deserve to have it." "How did you-" Natasha started, as Violet pushed the award into her hands, but she stopped and just smiled, then pulled Violet in slowly for a hug, and Violet happily obliged, hugging her back. Natasha rubbed her daughters back and whispered, "thank you." "You do everything for everyone else, you should do something for yourself," Violet said. She was right, there was no denying it. Natasha pulled away and looked Violet in the eyes. "I don't deserve you," Natasha said, "You're a much better child than I am a mother. But thank you sweetheart, I truly appreciate it. Let's go get some dinner." Together, the Simple girls headed out of the hospital and towards the parking lot. As they climbed into Natasha's car, talking about Jenna and how Violet had obtained the award, they couldn't help but recognize just how lucky they were to have one another, Natasha especially. She felt like the luckiest mother in the world, and she wanted to give her daughter anything she wanted in return. They went through a drive through, got their food and sat in the parking lot, making fun of the shape of the award, which was modeled after a tv set, together while they ate. All in all, it was a good night for everyone for a change, even Jenna.
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Public Access follows Natasha Simple, a self qualified "self help" instructor with her own show on local public access. But when she makes a sudden and surprising statement on air, her entire life changes, for the better...and the worse. Archives
December 2022
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